I don’t take things friends say or do personally, don’t assume the worst of them, and hold pretty low expectations of others in general. (They should put themselves and their families first, not me.) Yet even then, once every year or so, a friend is mad at me.

It’s inevitable. We all know that in our heads.

But it still stings, doesn’t it? It hurts to feel that separation, to experience their purposeful exclusion of you from their life.

So…what can you do when your friend is mad at you? What should you do?

Here’s what I’ve found is the best course of action to (1) make me feel better and (2) ensure our friendship has the best chance for reconciliation:

First step: Consider your words and actions and determine if they warrant an apology.

None of us are perfect. Think through your last few interactions with your friend to determine what exactly might have angered them. Whether intentional or unintentional on your part, the outcome is usually the same.

If you can figure out what upset them, decide if it calls for a sincere apology…or at least an explanation. And if it does…apologize! Explain!

Sure, you could return silence for silence, anger for anger, but has that worked for you in the past? It usually just ensures that we end up hateful and lonely.

If you’re not sure what’s up with them, ask!

Rather than wondering and imagining what might be up…just ask them.

This is easier said than done, I’ll admit. Who wants to kick off an uncomfortable conversation, even with a close friend, am I right?

But it doesn’t have to be complex. “Hey, you’ve seemed kind of distant lately. Did I say or do something to upset you?”

They’ll either (a) tell you exactly what you did in great detail, (b) deny it, or (c) let you in on something much bigger.

I once thought a good friend was mad at me but when I asked her, learned she had just lost her job and was in a weird headspace…for obvious reasons! No matter what they answer, you’ll have done your part to ask and follow up with them.

Give them time and space to cool down.

Most people can’t turn on a dime when it comes to their emotional responses and your friend is likely no different. They’ll need time to work through their emotions in their own head before they’re ready to talk and reconcile with someone else.

By pushing them for an answer sooner than they’re ready to talk, you’ll likely just exacerbate the issue. So resist the urge to press in for answers if they’re not willing to give them just yet.

Don’t dwell on negative thoughts.

I was once super upset with a good friend for taking advantage of me. And every morning as I dried my hair, I’d think about how messed up the entire situation was.

I started fighting with her in my head, saying exactly what I thought, though she wasn’t even aware the conversation was happening there in my bathroom. And unsurprisingly, my feelings of anger toward her grew more and more every morning.

You become what you dwell on. It’s a basic mental health fact. So choose to not dwell on speculations or bitterness.

Take the high road.

Again, you could return silence for silence. You could avoid them, roll your eyes at them, or gossip about them to your other friends.

But if you sincerely wish to reconcile your friendship, it’s always a good idea to avoid making messes you’ll have to clean up later.

By remaining available to talk, treating them respectfully, and resisting the urge to crank up the drama, you’ll be taking the high road. And you’ll avoid giving them any ammo that could stoke the fire.

Bonus: Saying no to petty drama will also help you to avoid piling additional stress and negative emotions on yourself. Ain’t nobody got time for that!

Reflect on your relationship.

Now I’m the last person to tell you to “cancel” everyone who looks at you sideways. I believe cancel culture only leaves us feeling critical, angry, and lonely. But sometimes you have to ask if a relationship is enhancing your life or diminishing its quality.

Do you spend the majority of your friendship fighting with this “best friend”? Are they always assuming the worst of you and leaving you to walk on eggshells?

Are they bringing more love than pain to your life? How about more love than stress? Do they check any of the boxes of a toxic friendship?

Friendships are two-way streets. And if you’re the only one putting in the work and reconciling the relationship when things go awry, it might be time to get a new best friend.

Let it go.

If your friend isn’t interested in reconciliation, it may be time to let it go.

Again, friendship is a two-way street and it’s going to take more than one of you to patch things up between you. So be willing to step away, at least for a while.

Maybe you and your friend will reconnect again in the near (or far) future. Or maybe this is where you part ways.

Either way, you can only control your own actions, not theirs. If they’re not willing to talk and reconnect, save yourself the mental turmoil and pause the friendship.

(If you find you have to part ways, be sure to check out this post about how to heal when a friendship ends.)

Bonus tip: Don’t be afraid of getting professional help.

Sometimes, holding a difficult conversation with an angry friend, or even avoiding a difficult conversation with them, tells us more about ourselves than it does about them. If you find it difficult to consider life from a different point of view, struggle to manage your emotional responses, or find strong feelings of anger are threatening your overall mental health, sometimes the best course of action is to seek out professional help.

A mental health professional can offer a valuable third-party point of view, explore the root cause behind your own feelings and emotional reactions, and help you find a more productive and positive way to navigate both this difficult time and the next time! I’ve personally grown by leaps and bounds with the help of mental health professionals and would recommend counseling to anyone, anywhere, at any time.

Don’t panic when your friend is mad at you! This is a normal part of every friendship and should be expected.

By choosing your words and thoughts wisely, taking the high road, and allowing time to reflect and heal, you can find peace even if/when your friend chooses not to. You can’t control their actions, but you can choose yours.

And your actions, friend? They’re powerful. You’ve got this.

Frequently Asked Questions

How can I start a calm conversation when emotions are high?

Wait for a moment when both of you can talk without distractions. Send a simple text like “Can we talk when you’re ready?” to show you respect their feelings.

When you do talk, start by asking them to share their perspective. Let them speak without interrupting, even if you disagree with what they’re saying. This shows you care about understanding their point of view.

Keep your voice calm and your body language open. Avoid crossing your arms while they talk and make it clear they have your undivided attention.

What should I say to apologize without making things worse?

A sincere apology acknowledges what you did wrong without making excuses. Say something like “I’m sorry I hurt you” instead of “I’m sorry you felt that way.”

Be specific about what you’re apologizing for. This shows you actually understand why they’re upset. For example, “I’m sorry I canceled our plans last minute without giving you a good reason.”

Don’t try to explain away your actions or shift blame to someone else. Just own what you did and ask what you can do to make things right.

What if my friend won’t talk to me or is ignoring my messages?

Send one message letting them know you’re ready to talk when they are. Then step back and give them room to process their feelings.

Avoid sending multiple texts or showing up at their place unannounced. This can make them feel pressured and push them further away. They need time to cool off and think about the situation.

If they continue ignoring you after you’ve given them space, you might need to accept that they’re not ready to work things out yet.

How long should I give them space before reaching out again?

A few days is usually enough time for someone to calm down and think clearly. If the situation was serious, you might need to wait a week or more.

Pay attention to how upset they were when the conflict happened. A small disagreement might only need a day or two, while a bigger issue will take more time.

If a week has passed with no response, you can send one more message saying you care about the friendship and you’re there when they’re ready. After that, the ball is in their court.

P.S. Ready to escape survival mode? Start living life on your terms! The Take Charge Collection of 15 free resources will help you to simplify, organize, and take charge of your life! Get yours HERE.

Disclosure: While all opinions are our own, we are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program and other affiliate advertising programs, designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites, at no additional cost to you.

The post My Friend is Mad at Me | How to Find Peace & Reconcile appeared first on Deb Preston.

I will always remember the moment a friend tried to peg her divorce on me. She had been tearing down her husband for years, picking on him, degrading him in front of others.

One afternoon, in the middle of a particularly ugly bullying session, I spoke up. I kindly asked her to stop “joking,” that it was making me uncomfortable.

He spoke up to agree – the first time I’d heard him speak up in the ten years I’d known him. It started a huge fight between them.

Later that night, she called me to say, “We might get a divorce now. Thanks a lot for that.” She informed me that I was “dead to her” and was true to her word, making sure we had absolutely no contact for years.

On one hand, the experience was a turning point for me to realize that just because someone blames me for something doesn’t mean it’s actually my fault. But at the same time, I felt deeply hurt to be cut off from a person who I’d known for years.

I mean, it’s hard enough to forgive people who are remorseful and ask for forgiveness through a sincere apology. But people who aren’t even sorry?

And worse yet, those who blame you for their actions?! That’s a whole new level.

Luckily, it’s absolutely possible to forgive someone who isn’t sorry. The best news of all is that they don’t even have to be a part of the forgiving/healing process!

So…are you wondering exactly how to forgive someone who isn’t sorry? Let’s dive right in!

Understand what forgiveness is…and what it isn’t.

The first step to finding true peace of mind is understanding what forgiveness actually is.

Forgiveness doesn’t excuse the other person’s actions. It also doesn’t require accountability from or reconciliation with the offending party.

Forgiveness is a very personal act in which you choose to let go of an offense in order to move forward. When you can view it through this lens, it feels much more reasonable and manageable.

Forgive for your own sake, not for theirs.

It’s difficult to forgive when you think of it as awarding a pardon to an undeserving recipient.

So take them out of the picture! Focus on forgiveness as something you’re doing for yourself, so that someone else’s poor behavior (and resulting negative feelings) doesn’t unfairly impact you for longer than necessary.

Own your part.

On the other hand, swallow your pride enough to admit if you played a part in the situation.

I was once upset with a friend for constantly canceling our plans to spend time with her boyfriend. Looking back, though, I realize my expectations were excessive and unfair.

Life is all about recognizing and confronting our own shortcomings and learning to do better.

Stop avoiding them.

Tension only grows, and negative emotions deepen, when you avoid one another.

Say hello when you cross paths. It doesn’t have to be overly friendly or conversational, but it shouldn’t make those around you uncomfortable.

Take responsibility for your own emotions and attitude.

No matter what the other person did, the power now lies with you as the hurt person to determine how this will affect you.

The anger, the bitterness, the feelings of resentment…you’re feeling those negative feelings because you’re choosing to sit with them. The good news is that when you take responsibility for your own thoughts and actions, you’re also taking the power out of their hands and into yours to determine how your story ends.

Stop looking for reasons to feel upset.

Similarly, you have to choose to stop looking for reasons to relive the situation and revisit the pain and/or anger. And while you’re at it, stop looking for future offenses.

People aren’t perfect. I guarantee that every single person you know will say or do something that will upset you at some point, in lots of different ways, usually unintentionally.

When you go into a social situation with that mindset, you’ll find fewer possibilities for someone to ruin your day. (Remember, this is for your sake and your mental health, not theirs.)

Focus on the present.

You can’t change what happened between the two of you. What’s done is done. So let go of the past and focus on the present – where you do have control.

I’m a firm believer that the best mental health is enjoyed by focusing on the present moment, rather than ruminating over the past or stressing over the future. Taking small steps toward more mindfully living as your authentic self will not only help you to let go of resentment, but also help you enjoy more peace of mind and fulfillment in your day-to-day life.

Learn from the situation.

An ex-boyfriend taught me I shouldn’t ignore warning signs in a relationship. An ex-friend taught me I shouldn’t assume another parent’s preferences for their child, no matter how long I’ve known them. And a coworker taught me not to count my chickens before they hatch.

Learning from hurtful events helps us to avoid a similar situation in the future. Plus, it turns what is otherwise an unpleasant experience into a self-beneficial moment of growth.

Forgive yourself.

I’ve personally found that the most unforgiving people are those who can’t forgive themselves…or are unreasonably hard on themselves.

If you’re in this boat, imagine your child (or closest friend or family member) confessing to you that they couldn’t forgive themselves in a similar situation. What would you say to them?

You would probably react with kindness, grace, and encouragement. And you’d sure as heck drown them in love!

Now have a chat with yourself, applying the same grace and love.

If you’re having trouble forgiving yourself, or loving yourself at all, I encourage you to seek the help of a professional counselor. After all, you deserve love and grace too!

Practice empathy to develop a forgiving heart.

Try to put yourself in others’ shoes not just in this particular situation, but on a regular basis. When you can more easily relate to those around you, their words or actions will be less likely to be trigger negative feelings in you.

And while you’re at it, assume the best of others!

After all, did that person cut you off in traffic simply because they’re a jerk? Or because they’re rushing to the hospital to see a family member? It’s likely their reason falls somewhere in the middle.

Reminding yourself of this truth, and putting yourself in others’ shoes before reacting, will do wonders for your mind, heart, mental health, and entire outlook on life.

Don’t be too hard on yourself.

Keep in mind that this is a process…and one you won’t master overnight. So don’t beat yourself up over those moments you fall back into old patterns.

Instead, try replaying the situation to determine exactly what triggered you, then make a plan for overcoming it the next time.

My friend and I are on friendly terms again, and have even hung out a few times since that fateful night.

She never offered a sincere apology and has never even acknowledged the situation. But I realize now that that’s a reflection of her own mental health and well-being, not mine. And honestly? It makes me a little sad for her.

I don’t harbor any negative feelings toward her, but I don’t trust her like I used to or consider her the safe space that I do other friends and family. I’m careful about what I share with her, and mindful to take any new accusations with a grain of salt.

Thanks to the power of forgiveness, I’m enjoying peace of mind, healthier boundaries, and fewer negative feelings within my relationships. I’ve learned to shift my focus to the things I can control in my own life, rather than the things I can’t control in others’ lives. And that, my friend, is a win-win-win in my book.

So there you have it – how to forgive someone who isn’t sorry! It’s not an easy task, but it’s far from impossible.

Don’t do it for the sake of the person who hurt you. Do it for yourself. Because friend, you deserve peace of mind!

FAQ

Can you forgive someone who shows no remorse?

It’s difficult to forgive someone when they don’t show regret or guilt for wrongs committed. Remember, though, that showing no remorse for hurting others is a reflection on the person hurting others, rather than on the hurt person.

Reminding yourself of this can often help you to let go of resentment and other negative feelings. It’s not you, it’s them.

How can you forgive someone who hurt you emotionally?

Emotional injuries from hurtful events tend to hurt us more deeply and stay with us longer. While you can learn to forgive someone who isn’t sorry by following the steps above, you might also find professional counseling beneficial to your healing process and overall mental health.

How do you deal with someone who isn’t sorry?

When someone won’t apologize for hurting you, it may be challenging to continue day-to-day interactions with them. I’ve found that continuing on as normally as possible is the best remedy.

While I’m not overly chatty, I am cordial and kind. By focusing on your own part (forgiving and learning) and leading by example, you’re communicating to the other person that you won’t be engaging in petty behavior.

What does the Bible say about forgiving someone who isn’t sorry?

Ephesians 4:32 (MSG) states, “Forgive one another as quickly and thoroughly as God in Christ forgave you.” And in 1 Peter 3:8-9, Christians are encouraged not to return evil for evil.

As if that weren’t convincing enough, Hebrews 12:14-15 warns us that holding onto bitterness and feelings of resentment harms us. The Bible encourages us to forgive others not just because it’s the right thing to do, but because it’s best for our own well-being.

What does it mean when someone never apologizes? This is the hardest thing!

Often, when someone never apologizes, it is because they are a narcissist. This is not always the case, but is relatively common.

In fact, dealing with a narcissist and how to forgive someone who isn’t sorry require a very similar process. Be sure to check out How to Deal With a Narcissist | 7 Effective Tricks They’ll Wish You Didn’t Know!

Can you forgive someone without talking to them?

You can absolutely forgive someone without talking to them! In fact, this is often necessary if/when they aren’t sorry for what they’ve done.

If you’ll notice above, only one of the suggested steps requires interacting with the offending person.

P.S. Looking for some practical ways to lower your stress levels? Download A Practical Guide to Stress | 17 Tricks to Take Control of Stress Today​ to help you develop a game-changing stress management plan. It’s free! Get yours HERE.

Disclosure: While all opinions are our own, we are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program and other affiliate advertising programs, designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites, at no additional cost to you.

The post How to Forgive Someone Who Isn’t Sorry (& Let It Go!) appeared first on Deb Preston.

And yet…my guests never seemed to feel at home.

Then I visited one of my close friends, Jenna, and her husband Joe to stay for a few nights, and immediately noticed my entire visit felt like a warm hug.

The decor invited me in. Things were clean enough to make me comfortable but not so spotless that I couldn’t relax and actually use items, like the throw blankets and pillows scattered about.

From the relaxed and unscheduled vibe, to the pile of clean towels in the guest bathroom, to the multiple areas arranged for visiting, I felt like I was being treated to a hotel stay.

As an introvert, I usually leave other people’s homes worn down and desperate for some alone time, no matter how much I love my hosts.

But this time? I left feeling more relaxed and refreshed than when I arrived.

And it left me wondering…what exactly was it that made me feel so at home there? And how could I recreate that same feeling for a friend or family member?

I collected my own thoughts on this topic and then opened up the conversation to you, our readers, on social media. And friends, you did not disappoint!

Whether you’re hosting close friends, a dinner party, a holiday season gathering, or overnight guests, here are the big and little things we all agreed on:

Be a Good Host at the Front Door

Invite others to visit your home.

It sounds like a given, but to be a great host, you have to first extend an invitation.

If you’ve never invited your neighbors over, don’t expect them to immediately feel at home when they step inside your door for the first time to ask a favor or return your escape artist dog. If your potential guest has to decline your invitation at the time, be sure to let them know that your door is always open.

Sincerely welcome guests.

Your facial expressions, words, and tone at the front door all send a message to your guest about how truly welcome they are. So even if you’re stressed out and covered in gravy from an explosive kitchen mishap (maybe that’s just me?!), take a deep breath and sincerely smile as you say your hellos.

Greet your guests with a warm hug (if you’re both comfortable with it).

One of the most popular reader requests was for hugs the moment they step in the front door.  The warm and welcoming tone of a hug helps set the stage for the rest of their visit.

Offer a place to set their things.

I know I often awkwardly scan a room to find an appropriate place to set my purse. I want it to be easily accessible, away from pets, kids, and feet, and also acceptable to my host.

Take the guesswork out of the equation by immediately offering guests a table or closet to safely house any purses, coats, diaper bags, or other belongings. This is one area where a little effort can go a long way to make guests feel welcomed from the moment they step through the front door.

Be a Good Host Entering the Main Living Area

Another popular request? Offering hot coffee, tea, water, or another drink.

Most guests will feel like a bother asking to drink something from your fridge if you haven’t offered. So eliminate that possibility as soon as they step in the door, and before you start visiting and forget!

Offer a snack.

You don’t necessarily have to make a special shopping trip to have your guests’ favorites on hand. (Although you can never go wrong with that approach, especially when food allergies are at stake.)

But I always try to keep some crowdpleasers at the ready. Think chips and salsa, cheese and summer sausage, break-and-bake cookies, or veggies with ranch dip.

I love making up a small tray of fruit when children come to visit. The sweetness makes it feel like a special treat to them but it’s still a healthy option, sure to please parents.

Want to class things up a bit? Consider making or buying a cheese board to snack from while you visit!

It’s truly the little things that count!

Bonus points: Show your guests where to find those drinks and snacks in the fridge and pantry, and tell them to help themselves whenever they’d like.

This makes your guests feel more like family.

Show guests where everything is and invite them to make themselves at home.

The single most repeated and requested phrase in reader comments was “make yourself at home.” This seems to be the magic phrase that sets people at ease and convinces them they really are welcome.

Don’t stop offering drinks and snacks.

Just because your guest wasn’t thirsty 30 minutes ago doesn’t mean they aren’t thirsty now. Or maybe they’d like to finish that cup of coffee but believe they’ll need to make it last.

Freely and frequently making those small gestures helps to sustain the welcoming feeling.

Invite guests to take a seat and relax.

Again, this seems like a given. I mean, they’re obviously going to sit for the majority of their visit, right?

But by ushering them to the comfiest chair in the living room and using that magic phrase, “relax,” you’re not only allowing them to sit, you’re inviting them to.

Be a Good Host By Tweaking Your Home

Keep things (just somewhat) clean.

Sure, a bit messier home might make your guests feel more like family. Buuuuut most people don’t want to have to relocate a pile of laundry to find an open seat…or navigate a pee-splattered toilet.

The general sentiment was that too clean makes your home feel almost unrelatable, but that a little spot cleaning will go a long way in making guests feel more comfortable.

Overnight guests? Ensure you provide clean sheets and towels and a guest room (or “pop-up” guest room in the living room) free from clutter.

(Want a handy cleaning schedule that breaks cleaning up into super short segments throughout the week? Nab yours free here!)

Make your house smell like home.

Whether it’s the crockpot roasting dinner, freshly brewed coffee, or a clean or yummy-smelling candle, be mindful of the scent guests will encounter as they walk through the door. (I love to burn seasonal scents like pumpkin or gingerbread.)

This is especially key if your home tends to smell like smoke, pets, or other strong scents.

(Want some extra help in this area? Check out How to Make Your Home Smell Good | Combat Odors & Create a Signature Scent.)

Provide a comfortable seat.

Unlike inviting guests to take a seat, this tip is all about making sure the seat is comfortable.

For example, if your guest is under five feet tall, don’t offer the high barstools on the kitchen island for her to climb up into. If they’re elderly, be sure the seat isn’t too low, making it difficult to get in and out of.

Most readers said they’d opt for a cozy couch and nothing so fancy they’d worry about ruining.

I’d personally add offering a pet hair-free place to sit. Your guests may not enjoy animals like you do, may not want to leave your home covered in pet hairs, and may even be allergic.

Offer guests a comfy blanket.

Of course, they aren’t planning to take a nap. But lots of people enjoy cozying up to a warm blanket or throw pillow while they chat, especially during colder months.

Keep a few nearby, folded in a basket, hanging on a ladder, or simply draped over the arm of the couch. Not only will it make guests feel at home, it will also help to contribute to that hygge home feeling.

Be a Good Host By Giving Guests Your Full Attention

Turn off the tv and put down your phone.

Judge me if you will, but I strongly dislike when family and friends come together to…all look down at their phones…or silently watch tv together. I don’t feel like we’re visiting much at all.

After all, I don’t want to interrupt someone’s Instagram feed with my conversation. And I’m not fully convinced my host is truly listening to me if they’re simultaneously checking notifications.

Eliminate technological distractions if you’re aiming to hold a conversation.

Make sure you’re listening as much, if not more than, you’re talking.

Have you ever had the feeling someone was talking at you instead of with you? To be a great host, one who makes guests feel fully heard, follow the old adage that we have two ears and one month…and try listening twice as much as you speak.

Be a Good Host to Overnight Guests

If you’re hosting overnight guests, consider going the extra mile to load up on their favorite beverages and foods.

One of the hardest parts of staying the night away from home is losing the ability to walk to your own fridge, filled with all of your favorite things. Providing this comfort to guests is an easy way to make your home feel more like theirs.

Stock the bathroom with toiletries and be sure to invite guests to use them.

Most guests will pack their own toothpaste and other toiletries, not knowing for certain if their host will provide those items. So making the extra effort to stock the bathroom with shampoo, conditioner, soap, toothpaste, Q-tips, tweezers, and fluffy towels, will make their stay feel more like a treat than a necessity.

Stock their bed or guest room.

Pile your guest room high with extra pillows, blankets, and clean sheets so guests can choose as many or as few as they prefer. Leave a note with the WiFi password. And consider any personal touches they might enjoy, like a few bottles of water or fresh flowers at their bedside.

Let them know they’re welcome to the fridge, or to relax in the living room, even if you’re asleep or doing something else.

I can think of several times I’ve stayed in a guest room, trying to pass time reading or scrolling social media, because I didn’t feel comfortable hanging out in the living room or any other room when my hosts weren’t there. Verbalizing this to your overnight guests is incredibly helpful in putting them at ease to move about freely.

Give them a tour to show them where everything is.

Another popular request was to show guests where to find things, rather than simply providing them. After all, if overnight guests need another blanket in the middle of the night, they don’t want to be left with the choice of either waking you up to ask or rummaging through your hall closets uninvited.

Showing guests where to find what they need provides a clear and open invitation to truly make themselves at home.

Be a Good Host By Making Just-in-Case Plans

The best hosts prepare for the unexpected! By making a few “just-in-case plans,” you can help turn moments of potential discomfort into opportunities for connection and an enjoyable experience.

Facilitating Conversations and Activities

We’ve all experienced awkward silences, or even full-on stops, in conversation. One of the best ways to minimize this experience is to make a short mental list (or even jot one down on your phone!) of appropriate topics to fill the gaps if/when they pop up.

These could include asking about your guest’s family, hobbies, job, or even that delicious meal they posted on social media! Try to keep your conversation starters focused on your guest, keeping in mind the two-ears-one-mouth rule mentioned above.

Guest not a big talker? Combat awkward silences by bringing out a few board game options they might enjoy!

Kids experience lulls too! So help your child brainstorm a few different activity ideas you can have on hand when the inevitable “we’re booooored!” pops up with younger guests.

Handling Unexpected Situations

It’s highly unlikely that everything will go as planned with your visit. You might need to tackle a sudden spill on the carpet or a guest feeling unwell.

Be sure to keep cleaning and first aid supplies, as well as common medicines close at hand so that you can move swiftly and calmly to address any unexpected situations.

Hosting with Pets

Your furry friends add joy to your life but it’s important to remember that your guests might have allergies or feel uncomfortable around animals.

Ensure you establish a pet-free zone for those who might need it, and keep lint rollers or a small laundry kit handy for guests who may find pet hair on their clothing. Always check in advance if any of your guests have pet-related concerns, and plan accordingly.

By becoming more mindful of how you greet and invite guests in, arrange your home, and give guests your full attention, you’ll be one of the best hosts in no time.

Incorporate just a few of these tips, and you’ll already be a great host. Try half or even more of them, and your home will become a favorite destination of family, close friends, and even strangers.

Enjoy your company!

Frequently Asked Questions

How can I make sure my guests have a good time?

Ensuring your guests have a good time involves a mix of preparation, attention to detail, and hospitality. Here are some tips to ensure a good time is had by all:

1. Prepare in Advance: Prepare as much as you can ahead of time. This includes cleaning, setting up the space, and prepping the food. The more you prepare beforehand, the more time you’ll have to spend with your guests.
2. Create a Welcoming Atmosphere: Greet your guests warmly as they arrive. As mentioned above, a sincere welcome can set a positive tone for the event.
3. Serve Simple Yet Delicious Food: You don’t need to create a complicated main course and 20 sides. Simple, delicious dishes that can be prepared ahead of time will allow you to enjoy the company of your guests instead of being stuck in the kitchen. Of course, don’t forget to check with your guests for any food allergies!
4. Offer a Variety of Beverages: Provide a selection of drinks to cater to different preferences. This could include alcoholic options like wine or beer, as well as non-alcoholic choices like water, soda, tea, and coffee.
5. Engage Your Guests: Facilitate conversations and introduce guests to one another. Sharing stories, playing games, or even having dedicated entertainment such as music or a hired performer can help keep guests engaged.
6. Be Attentive: Pay attention to your guests’ needs. Make sure they have everything they need, such as refilling their drinks or offering them more food.
7. Create a Comfortable Environment: Ensure that the temperature is comfortable and that there is enough seating for everyone. Background music can also help set a relaxed mood.
8. Plan Activities: Depending on the occasion and your guests’ interests, plan some activities or entertainment. This could be anything from board games to a DIY photo booth.
9. Be Flexible: Even with the best planning, be prepared to go with the flow. Adapt to the mood of the gathering and be open to your guests’ suggestions.
10. Send Them Home with Something Special: A small party favor or a leftover treat for the road can be a pleasant surprise for your guests. This is one area where a little effort can go a long way!

These are some of the best ways to create an enjoyable and memorable experience for your guests, ensuring a good time is had by all.

Where can I find dinner party menu ideas?

You can find dinner party menu ideas for any special occasion from sources like PureWow, which offers recipes for stress-free entertaining, or Food Network, which provides a list of impressive yet foolproof main course ideas. For those looking for affordable options, Taste of Home features recipes for dinner parties that won’t break the bank.

If you need a full dinner party menu including cocktails, appetizers, main courses, sides, and desserts, you might want to check out thekittchen. Again, be careful to review your guest list for any food allergies!

What are the essentials for throwing a successful house party?

To throw a successful house party, your essentials include a well-planned guest list, a comfortable setting, a selection of delicious food and drinks, and a fitting music playlist. Pay special attention that your space is prepared for the number of guests and that there are engaging activities or spaces for mingling.

What should I include in a guest room essentials basket?

Creating a guest room essentials basket is a thoughtful and easy way to welcome overnight guests and make their stay more comfortable. Here are some items you could include:

1. Toiletries: Stock the basket with travel-sized essentials such as shampoo, conditioner, body wash, toothpaste, and a toothbrush. You could also add a razor, deodorant, and face masks for a spa-like touch.
2. Snacks and Drinks: Consider adding some light snacks such as crackers, chocolates, or fresh fruit. A few bottles of water or a selection of teas and coffee can also be appreciated.
3. Comfort Items: Items like cozy slippers, a soft throw blanket, or a small pillow can make your guests feel at home.
4. Entertainment: Include a couple of magazines, books, or a puzzle book. You could also provide the wifi password and any instructions for using the TV or other electronics in the guest room.
5. Personal Touches: A handwritten welcome note can add a warm, personal touch. You might also include a scented candle or a small bouquet of fresh flowers to make the space feel inviting.
6. Practical Items: Don’t forget practical items like extra chargers, an alarm clock, a small flashlight, or a nightlight.
7. Local Information: If your guests are from out of town, include a map, a guidebook, or a list of your favorite local restaurants and attractions.

Remember, the key to a great guest room basket is to tailor it to the needs and preferences of your guests. This will help to make their stay feel like less of a necessity and more of a special occasion.

Can you recommend any books with tips on hosting guests?

Yes! Consider reading books like The Art of Gathering by Priya Parker for innovative insights, or Entertaining by Martha Stewart for classic hosting etiquette. These books offer a wealth of tips on the best ways to host guests and can inspire you to create memorable experiences for everyone on your guest list.

What are some hosting tips shared by users on Reddit?

Users on Reddit often suggest personal touches like tailored playlists or home-cooked meals. Some hosting tips shared by Reddit users include offering a range of beverages to cater to all tastes and having a clear end time to manage expectations.

For hosting guests over an extended period, what should I consider?

When hosting guests for more than a day, you should consider their comfort and privacy.

Have clean sheets and linens, extra toiletries, and a space for their belongings. Plan for a mix of group activities and alone time to ensure they don’t feel overwhelmed.

What traits define the perfect host?

The perfect host is attentive, gracious, and adaptive, able to respond to guests’ needs while ensuring that the atmosphere remains welcoming and enjoyable for all attendees. They are well-organized, good communicators, and pay special attention to their guests’ experience, whether it’s their first time visiting or their hundredth time.

P.S. Need a new recipe sure to please guests? Then download our free ebook of 40 stupid easy recipes to save you major time and effort, so you can spend more time catching up! Nab yours here.

Disclosure: While all opinions are our own, we are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program and other affiliate advertising programs, designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites, at no additional cost to you.

The post Be a Good Host | Make Your Home a Guest FAVORITE! appeared first on Deb Preston.

Have you ever wondered how to help the homeless? Your heart goes out to them, but maybe you’re not sure of how to make a real difference. Is it cash they need most? Food? A job?!

What is a homeless care package?

While there’s a whole host of ways of helping the homeless, I personally love to meet several of their needs at once by sharing homeless care packages. Homeless care packages (sometimes called homeless care boxes or a homeless care kit) are a small collection of essential items a homeless person might find useful.

How did I decide what to include in the care kits? I went straight to the source, gathering information from local shelters, soup kitchens, homeless ministries, and the homeless community themselves.

Here’s what I found out!

What do you put in homeless care packages? Homeless Care Kit Ideas

Before diving into our list, I’ll mention that it’s always a good idea to ask before you give.

Everyone’s circumstances are different and they may not need what you’re offering, even if you consider those items to be basic necessities. If they decline your offer, wish them well and save your care kits for those who do need them.

Clothing

Clothing wears out quickly when you’re wearing it every day. Clean socks and teeshirts were highest on the list of clothing needs.

Wondering which socks they prefer? I researched that too!

The most common answer was men’s white crew socks. Shoes are also in high demand, but more difficult to provide unless you know and plan for the person’s size.

Cold Weather Clothing Items (Homeless Care Packages For Winter Months)

Do you live in an area that experiences cold temperatures? Hats, gloves, scarves, coats, and other clothing items geared toward the winter months will help to shield homeless people from the elements.

Don’t have the money to go out and purchase new items? Gently used clothing items are appreciated as well! It’s a great idea to check your closet for any hats or coats you don’t use and give them to those who will.

Hand warmers are a fantastic help as well. Consider purchasing hand warmers in bulk and keeping some handy in your purse or car to give to others when you encounter a need.

Bedding

Blankets and sleeping bags are helpful, the more easily portable, the better.

Toiletries/Personal Hygiene Essential Items

Toothpaste, toothbrushes, deodorant, feminine hygiene products (pads), disposable razors (for homeless men and women), shaving cream, lip balm, hand sanitizer/hand wipes are common essential items that are often foregone in favor of food.

Lotion is commonly needed during the winter months, when hands can become dry and chapped from constant exposure to the cold. Consider saving the small bottle of lotion from your hotel bathroom and including it in homeless care boxes to share with someone who could really use it.

Non-Perishable Food

Aim for food that is filling, easily transported and has a long shelf life, like breakfast/granola bars, tuna and crackers, crackers with peanut butter or cheese, or beef jerky. You can hand out individual food items or collect a few basic necessities together in a homeless care kit.

A plastic water bottle can also help to combat the dehydration that homeless individuals commonly experience.

Fast Food or Grocery Store Gift Cards

Gift cards provide them with not only with a hot meal but also a place to get out of the street for a while, use the restroom, etc., since many stores only allow paying customers inside.

Train or Bus Card

Many homeless people cite lack of access as their main deterrent to taking advantage of homeless services. Offer a means of transportation to nearby homeless shelters, ministries, soup kitchens, grocery stores, and more!

Resource Card

Use this website to locate local shelters, soup kitchens, and other homelessness assistance services in your area. Then jot down any helpful nearby services, along with addresses and phone numbers, on a notecard or piece of paper.

Many homeless people mentioned that homeless shelters and soup kitchens are most helpful to their needs but that they don’t always know where to find them. You can solve their lack of access with just a few minutes of internet research!

An Encouraging Handwritten Note

Homeless people are often denied basic dignity and even acknowledgment by others. Including an encouraging handwritten note with your care kits, telling them you care and that they matter, could be just the words they need to hear!

(Want this list of items, plus more ideas, in one handy guide? Be sure to download our free guide to creating a homeless care package HERE!)

Homeless Care Kit DIY

So what should you do…keep clean socks or toothbrushes in your car and hand them out to the homeless community as you meet them?

Possibly! In fact, many people do just that!

You can also create small care kits or “blessing bags” to keep handy in your car.

During my research, I stumbled upon the great idea to pack several essential items inside of a Nalgene or other wide-mouthed water bottle. This version of a homeless care kit provides them with several much-needed items, plus a durable water bottle. 

So I did just that, packing clean socks, hand wipes, hard warmers, snacks, and a McDonald’s gift card inside the durable plastic water bottle! I put a few in my car and a few in my husband’s, so we’d both be ready whenever we encountered a need.

You can also pack items into a gallon Ziploc bag or gently used purse or backpack to create a homeless care kit.

Tips For Useful Homeless Care Packages

• Don’t give the homeless your leftovers or worse yet, trash. While gently used items are appreciated, items with holes or heavy wear don’t send a message that the recipients are valued.
• Keep care kits small. Many homeless people carry all of their belongings everywhere they go. For this reason, it’s a good idea to offer just a few incredibly helpful items than 20 meh items.
• Consider their pets. Some homeless individuals adopt homeless animals, which may mean the food in your homeless care package feeds a dog rather than a human. Consider carrying small baggies of dog food to give alongside your homeless care boxes, to ensure both are fed.

What should you not put in homeless care packages? What not to give a homeless person?

Not every gift is useful! Here are a few items you should avoid including in your homeless care packages:

• Crunchy or hard foods. Many homeless people may be struggling with broken, rotten, or sensitive teeth or may be missing teeth altogether. That’s why it’s always a great idea to skip hard foods in favor of slightly softer foods that can be easily consumed regardless of dental health.
• Perishable foods. A hot meal, or those that require refrigeration, demand the recipient eat them right away, whether they’re hungry at the moment or not. Instead, opt for non-perishable foods with a long shelf life for those with lack of access to refrigeration.
• Gift cards for businesses beyond walking distance. Grocery store or restaurant gift cards for a store five or ten miles away will require the recipient to either walk a long distance or pay for public transportation to use them. For this reason, be mindful of each recipient’s location when you give them a gift card.
• Religious literature. We get it, you want homeless individuals to know that God loves them and cares about them. But sometimes including religious literature in homeless care boxes can come across as oblivious or insincere. If you want to share God’s love with the homeless community, use your own words and sincere conversation to do it instead of religious literature!

Handing Out Your Homeless Care Packages

More than food, clothing, or money, the most common needs expressed by the homeless are dignity, kindness, understanding, and encouragement. Most people avoid eye contact with the homeless, ignore their attempts at conversation, and/or act obviously uncomfortable with any interaction.

That means when you’re handing out your homeless care package, simply making eye contact and engaging in simple conversation, even saying “hello” or “good morning,” can go a long way in vastly improving their day.

Of course, be wise when engaging in conversation with strangers, homeless or not. Keep interactions contained to safe, public places where there are other people around.

Beyond Your Homeless Care Package – What else do homeless people need?

And finally, do you want to make a difference in the lives of more than one or two homeless individuals? Then consider donating your time and/or money to homeless shelters or ministries!

Check out this homeless shelter directory or your local church, and ask how you can help! These services have deeper pockets and more connections to provide the homeless with not just basic necessities but the training and assistance they need to get back on their feet again.

So now you know how to help the homeless! You are completely capable of making a difference in their lives, through homeless care packages and beyond!

Have you found a way to help and encourage the homeless in your area? Any tips or tricks you’ve learned to go beyond meeting their basic necessities? Be sure to share with us in the comments!

P.S. Want this list of items, plus more ideas, in one handy guide? Be sure to download our free guide to creating homeless care packages HERE!

FAQ

What are the best items to give to a homeless person?

The best items to give to a homeless person are those they want and need, rather than the fun or novelty items you enjoy.

For example, ordering two of your favorite frappucinos and sharing one with a homeless person, while thoughtful, may not be what they want or need. What if they don’t like frappucino? Or that flavor? What if they’re struggling to regulate their blood sugar or are hungry and would much prefer a cheeseburger?

Focus on choosing from a list of items that are universally liked and helpful.

What are 5 things a homeless person could use?

If you had to narrow the above list to just five items, I would choose one or two items from each of the following categories: food, clothing items, toiletries, and resource card.

What do you give homeless people instead of money?

Nothing on the list of items above involves handing out cash! The homeless community can also benefit from food, fast food gift cards, toiletries, socks, teeshirts, warm coats, and more.

How do you make a homeless person happy?

There are a load of things you can do to help bring a smile to their face! Besides blessing them with a homeless care package, you can also:

• Make eye contact and smile.
• Pay them a compliment.
• Strike up a conversation.
• Take time to listen to their story without interrupting (if they’re willing to share).
• Ask them if and how you can pray for them.
• Treat them like the valuable human they are.

What do you give a homeless friend?

If your friend is homeless, please give them your love and support! Help them find all of the resources available to them. Offer to go with them and help them to obtain those resources, if possible.

While it’s incredibly kind to share your own resources as you’re able, keep in mind that you want to help them find truly lasting solutions.

Disclosure: While all opinions are our own, we are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program and other affiliate advertising programs, designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites, at no additional cost to you.

The post Homeless Care Package | What Makes a REAL Difference appeared first on Deb Preston.

I used to attend every get-together. I used to host a steady stream of visitors, from close friends to new friends to family members.

But as my responsibilities and stress levels increased, I found myself saying no to my friends more often. I felt I had to, if not for my family’s sake, for the sake of my own mental and physical health.

And then it happened. Invites slowed down.

Then they stopped altogether.

Then I started overhearing stories, and stumbling across pictures, of the fantastic times my friends were enjoying together. They were smiling and laughing, in their homes, out at events.

It was the old gang…just without me. I hadn’t even heard they were doing anything that night.

And frankly, it stung. At a time when I needed support the most, when I winced every time I had to say no, longing to go but hating and bowing to my circumstances, when I had assumed they understood…what else could I do, right?…my group of friends moved on with their lives. 

The circle closed. And I wasn’t inside of it.

Maybe you can relate to my experience. Maybe you’re on the other side, insisting you deserve better than an endless chorus of no and maybe next time.

Whichever side you’re on, here’s why I strongly believe we should all keep inviting that friend who always says no.

Keep Inviting That Friend Because They Deserve the Benefit of the Doubt

You likely don’t know the full extent of their circumstances.

Spoiler alert: life isn’t all champagne bubble baths. We recognize that fact in our own lives, but do we acknowledge it in the lives of our close friends, too?

Sure, you know your friend is busy planning her child’s graduation.

Did she also inform you she’s developed severe anxiety over the thought of her baby leaving home? That it’s spilling out into every aspect of her life, and making it incredibly difficult to leave her house? Even if it’s to visit you?

Did she share she’s been seeing a psychiatrist, starting a new medication?

Sure, not every case of a friend saying no is so severe. But it might be. It’s okay to give close friends the benefit of the doubt, even if doing so inconveniences you.

You can’t usually say for sure it’s an intentional disrespect thing…so why assume?

You know what they say about making assumptions!

I once assumed a friend was mad at me when, in fact, her phone was lost in a river (the perils of Texas tubing). Another time, I assumed family members purposely skipped my daughter’s birthday…and they assumed they were purposely excluded…when it turned out the invite landed in their spam folder.

It’s important to remember, with friends and life in general, that there are a number of reasons something could come across as rude or intended in any given social interaction…but that doesn’t make it rude or intended. In fact, your friend might have a very good reason for declining your invitation…if you could just extend them a little grace.

The only way to avoid jumping to conclusions is to make sure you gather all important information, and try to view the situation through a different lens, before judging an alleged slight.

Your friend is not you, and can’t always be held to your standards.

I struggled with this myself, not understanding how a friend felt so overwhelmed by so few activities in her life. I knew if I were in her shoes, I could juggle her circumstances with ease…organize, make a plan, knock it out in a week or two, and move on with my life.

But I finally realized, after years of frustration, that she wasn’t me. We each possess our own unique activity tolerance levels, stress triggers, and coping mechanisms.

And the fact that I could juggle two jobs, homework, and more, didn’t give me any right to trivialize the stress and overwhelm she was experiencing at her one job. Our friends’ feelings are valid, even if we have a difficult time relating.

Keep Inviting That Friend Because You’re an Understanding Person

Solid friendships weather all seasons.

Between family, work, school activities, volunteering, and trying to squeeze in a hot second for themselves, your friend might sincerely be struggling to pencil you in.

And believe me, they’re not happy about that. They’re agonizing over how it might hurt you, praying you’ll understand, that you won’t pile guilt on top of the guilt that’s already drowning them.

Their life was obviously not so busy and overwhelming at one point, if they were spending more time with close friends or even a group of friends. And it will likely not be this busy forever.

Your friend’s unavailability could very likely reflect a season, rather than a lack of commitment to your friend group. And a real friend patiently trudges through winters, trusting that spring will return again.

Their family will, and should, come first.

I get it…you make time for the people you care about, right? But what if your time is incredibly limited?

I make no apologies when I say if it comes down to grabbing a coffee with a friend or spending that hour with my daughter, who’s having a heck of a time adjusting to her momma’s return to work, my daughter will win. Every time.

And she should. We cannot expect our friends (even amazing friends!) to neglect their family members in favor of a girls night out…not if we care about their family’s wellbeing.

Sure, there are times when their family members will just have to deal with it. But that’s your friend’s decision to make, not yours. We should not and cannot make even close friends feel bad for making their family a priority.

It’s what you hope someone would do for you.

If you’ve considered ending your invitations, it’s likely other people in their friend group are considering it too, or already have. Maybe you’re thinking that’s what they get for always saying no.

But try turning the tables for just a moment. Imagine you’re going through a difficult season.

You’re desperate for support, but have been physically and/or mentally unable to reciprocate your friendships the way you would like. And now you have no friends, no support system…in the middle of the hardest season of your life.

“Deserved” or not, how would you feel? If for no other reason, keep inviting that friend because it’s what you hope a real friend would do for you, were the tables turned.

Keep Inviting That Friend Because It’s Just Not That Hard

It doesn’t take that much effort to include them in larger get togethers.

How long does it take to send a text? “Hey friend, our group of friends is meeting up for ice cream at 9…wanna join?”

And if your friend declines the invite, or doesn’t see/answer it until 8? Will you weep into your tater tots? Probably not.

Leaving the door open for your friend requires less than a minute of your time. You know they’ll probably say no, so prepare your heart for that as you’re tapping send on those text messages.

But just knowing that you’re there? That you still care about them even when they can’t make it out? That knowledge alone could save a life.

At the very least, it could turn your friend’s day around. Is that outcome not worth 10 seconds of your time?

Expert Advice on Social Invitations

But…those are just my thoughts based on my own experiences. How do professionals, like etiquette experts and a master of social work, weigh in on this sensitive topic?

Tips from Etiquette Experts

Etiquette experts suggest always responding to invitations with grace, whether you’re the one inviting or being invited. When you keep inviting a friend, these professionals recommend spacing out your invitations to avoid overwhelming them.

Key guidelines include:

• Give your friend at least one to two weeks between invitations.
• Accept “no” without taking it personally or pressing for reasons.
• Vary the types of activities you suggest to match different comfort levels.
• Avoid last minute invites that will add another layer of stress to their decision.
• Pay attention to their enthusiasm level when they respond.

Research shows that people overestimate how much declining an invitation matters. Your friend likely isn’t rejecting you personally when they say no. They might be managing their energy or dealing with other commitments.

Ettiquette experts also recommend being clear and specific with your invitations. Instead of vague suggestions, propose concrete plans with dates and times.

Guidance from a Master of Social Work

Social workers and mental health professionals suggest asking yourself a few questions before extending each invitation:

• Is this activity a good match with your friend’s interests?
• Is this activity a good fit for your friend’s comfort levels?
• Have they expressed wanting more or less social time lately?

As an introvert, I can verify this makes a huge difference in my invitation acceptance. I’m happy to step outside my comfort zone once in a while for the sake of close friends or a group of friends, but if every invitation is to some place or situation I consider a nightmare, my sentiment will shift from genuine connection to obligation.

Asking these questions would have also been huge to me when I was single! I cannot state enough the awkwardness your single friends can feel when they’re part of a friend group composed primarily of married couples.

I felt a similar awkwardness when my husband developed a chronic illness and could no longer join me in our previously-established social life. Of course, I knew I was loved and welcome in our friend group, but it’s awkward to sit by yourself when everyone else is paired up.

Social workers note that healthy friendships require balance. You should create space for your friend to say no without guilt while also expressing that you value their company.

Navigating the Dynamics of Repeated Invitations

Knowing when to pause your invitations, accepting that people gon’ people, and staying open to new connections will help you maintain healthy friendships without experiencing emotional burnout.

Recognizing When It Is Time to Take a Step Back

While it’s always kind to keep inviting that friend who always says no, you also want to watch out for signs that suggest your friend truly doesn’t want to be invited.

These signs can be used as a kind of guide:

• Direct requests to stop inviting them
• No counter-offers when they decline (i.e. “I’m busy this weekend but what about next weekend?”)
• Delayed responses or ignored messages
• Visible discomfort when discussing plans

The key is listening to what people tell you both directly and indirectly. Stepping back doesn’t have to mean ending the friendship, just adjusting how you connect.

People Gon’ People

People gon’ people means just what you think it does…that humans are complex and inconsistent.

Your friend might genuinely want to hang out but struggle with anxiety, depression, a crazy schedule, or an already-stressful social life thanks to family members. They’re not trying to hurt you; they might just feel overwhelmed!

Someone can also value your friendship deeply while still declining every invitation.

They might be dealing with financial stress, family obligations, or health issues they haven’t shared. This unpredictability is part of being human, not a reflection of what kind of friend they are or how much they care about you.

The most amazing friends learn to navigate the fine line between caring persistence and respectful space. So be that friend!

You can’t control their response, only your own expectations. Give people grace to be imperfect without taking it personally.

Welcoming New Friends

While you keep the door open for existing friends, don’t forget to seek out new friends! This approach can prevent you from feeling resentful or lonely when one friend can’t show up, and will expand your social circle instead of shrinking it.

New friends bring fresh energy and different perspectives. They also reduce the pressure on any single friends to meet all your social needs.

You’re not replacing old friends with new friends, but creating a stronger support network that works for your life right now.

I’ll say it again for those in the back – keep inviting that friend who always says no! You don’t know the full extent of their circumstances, so trust they’re doing their best.

Friendships are made to weather the seasons, you’d want the same for yourself, and let’s be honest…it just doesn’t take that much time or effort.

So what are your thoughts? Should you keep inviting that friend who always says no? Be sure to sound off in the comments!

Frequently Asked Questions

Friendships require balance and clear communication. Understanding when to keep reaching out and when to step back can help you maintain healthy connections with the people you care about.

How can you tell when it’s time to stop inviting a friend to events?

You’ll know it’s time to pause your invitations when your friend consistently declines without suggesting alternative plans. If they never follow up or show interest or desire to connect, that’s your cue.

Watch for patterns over several months rather than just a few weeks. Life gets busy, and people go through difficult periods where socializing takes a back seat.

Another sign is when your friend seems uncomfortable or unenthusiastic during the rare times they do accept. If they appear relieved when events end or check their phone constantly, they might not want to be there.

What are polite ways to decline an invitation without hurting the friendship?

What should you do when you’re on the flip side?

Be honest about your reasons without over-explaining. While you don’t have to share private details, giving some kind of reason will help keep your friend from filling in the blanks on their own (and usually not in your favor).

Suggest an alternative if you genuinely want to connect. You could say “I’m busy Saturday, but would you be free for coffee next week?” This shows you value the friendship even though you can’t attend additional events.

And always express gratitude for being included! Let your friend know you appreciate that they were thinking of you, even when you can’t accept the invite.

What could be some good reasons why a friend always invites but never gets invited back?

Some people naturally take on the organizer role, whether it’s because they have more social skills, enjoy spending time planning a grand gathering, or just love to rack up good “crazy night” stories. For a significant number of people, organizing gatherings is how they show love and friendship in a practical way.

They could also have more flexible schedules or larger living spaces that make hosting easier. This practical advantage might mean they default to being the inviter.

This doesn’t necessarily mean their friend group doesn’t want to reciprocate, but that they might not be at the same advantage when it comes to planning events.

How do you address unequal effort in maintaining a friendship?

Start with a direct but kind conversation about what you’ve noticed. You might say, “I’ve realized you haven’t been reaching out as much as I do, and I want to make sure we’re on the same page.”

Share your feelings using “I feel” statements instead of accusations. Try “I feel like you might not enjoy spending time with me anymore” rather than “I always have to do everything.”

Propose specific actions you’ll take to balance things out. Commit to initiating plans once or twice a month or taking turns choosing activities. 

What are the major red flags to look out for in maintaining a healthy friendship?

One-sided effort is a huge warning sign. If you’re always the one texting, making plans, and checking in first, the friendship likely lacks balance.

Consistent flaking without offering reasons or apologies can also demonstrate disrespect for your time. Everyone cancels occasionally, but a pattern of last minute cancellations usually indicates low priority.

Personally, I’ve also found that lack of support during difficult times reveals true friendship quality. Friends who only show up for the fun but disappear when you need help aren’t invested in the relationship.

P.S. Feeling overwhelmed yourself? Be sure to download our free guide to stress, to help you develop a game-changing stress management plan!

Disclosure: While all opinions are our own, we are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program and other affiliate advertising programs, designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites, at no additional cost to you.

The post Why to Keep Inviting That Friend Who Always Says No appeared first on Deb Preston.

How did she do it? And with so many kids all at once?!

You and I both know that teachers find themselves in a rewarding but incredibly challenging role. They’re helping our kids grow mentally, emotionally, and socially, rolling with distractions and frankly, shenanigans, and doing it all with a limited budget.

Whether they’re a preschool, elementary, or high school teacher, or even your favorite college professor, teachers deserve to be celebrated all year long.

The Christmas season offers a fantastic opportunity to express our appreciation to teachers. With the right gift and heartfelt Christmas wishes, we can not only express our gratitude but offer them encouragement and support for the coming year.

If you’re here, you appreciate your teacher too and are wondering what to write in a teachers Christmas card. Let’s talk about the best heartfelt message to thank them for their hard work, plus wish them a restful Christmas break and joyful new year.

Examples of What to Write in a Teachers Christmas Card

For those in a time crunch, I’ve moved this section to the top with a few examples of what to write in a teacher’s Christmas card! If you have a few more minutes and want to learn how to personalize these warm wishes for your teacher, keep reading below to learn the essential pieces of the best Christmas card messages to teachers:

1. Warm Greeting
2. Expression of Gratitude
3. Personalization
4. Well Wishes For a Wonderful Holiday Season
5. Closing

…and how to incorporate them in a more personal way!

Let’s look at a few examples!

Happy holidays to the only teacher who could make math feel fun! You didn’t just teach me to tackle hard subjects this year; you taught me how to focus on the positives and face hard things head-on! (You also taught me that brownies make everything better, which is another solid life lesson!) I wish you and your family a magical Christmas break on the slopes and pray you enjoy safe travels back. Thinking of you this Christmas season and wishing you a joyous Christmas and happy new year filled with joy, achievement, and all of the recognition you deserve!

An example if you’re writing Christmas card messages on behalf of your child:

Wishing you a very merry Christmas time, Mrs. Smith! Your hard work this school year didn’t go unnoticed. Thanks so much for always being there for our entire family. Finley used to hate reading. Now he’s devouring chapter books every night before bed! This year has been a huge turning point in his education and growth, thanks to you! Here’s to another year of inspiring young minds. All the best in 2026 to the best teacher!

Choosing Your Christmas Card

Picking the right card for your teacher sets the stage for the best Christmas card messages. The card’s style and format can make your appreciation shine through even before they read your words.

Card Design Selection

Try to choose a design that fits your teacher’s personality. 

Do they love animals? Pick a card with festive puppies or kittens.

Are they into art? Look for a card with a beautiful winter scene.

Funny cards can bring smiles, but make sure the humor is appropriate for a teacher. 

Cards with school themes, like apples or books, offer a great way to show you value their role in your life.

Keep it tasteful and avoid anything too flashy. Simple, elegant holiday cards often work best.

The card should enhance your message, not overshadow it.

Digital Cards Versus Physical Cards

Digital cards offer quick and easy sending options.

You can choose from many designs and add personal touches like photos or videos. Digital cards are great if you’re short on time or are trying to be eco-friendly.

Physical holiday cards offer old-fashioned charm.

Your teacher can display them on their desk or at home. Plus, you or your child can handwrite your message to add a more personal touch. 

Many teachers keep special holiday cards for years.

Both types spread Christmas holiday cheer in different ways, so think about what your teacher might like best. If you’re unsure, a physical card is usually a safe bet.

Starting Your Message With Warm Greetings

A cheerful holiday greeting will help set the tone for a thoughtful Christmas card. Your opening line can make them feel special and appreciated right from the start.

Crafting A Merry Opening Line

Add some jolly to your hello! Try something like “Merry Christmas, [teacher’s name]!” or “Happy holidays to the best teacher!” 

You can also use “Season’s Greetings” for a more generic approach if you’re unsure of your teacher’s beliefs or personal preferences.

Think about what your teacher means to you. Adding a personal note like, “To the teacher who makes learning fun,” or, “For my favorite math whiz,” can make your card stand out.

Don’t forget to use your teacher’s name. It adds a nice personal touch.

Incorporating Happy Holidays and Season’s Greetings

Mix up your Christmas greetings to keep things fresh. 

“Happy Holidays” offers a catch-all phrase that works for everyone. “Season’s Greetings” is another solid option that fits the festive season.

But you can get creative too!

Try borrowing words from a favorite Christmas song like, “Wishing you a holly jolly Christmas,” or, “May your holidays be merry and bright.” These fun Christmas greetings can help show off your personality.

Remember, your goal is to spread joy. The warmest wishes show you care about your teacher’s happiness during this special time of year.

Expressing Gratitude For The Teacher

Teachers work hard all school year to help students learn and grow. Sharing teacher appreciation messages for their efforts can mean a lot.

Let’s look at a great way (or two!) to thank teachers in your holiday cards.

Acknowledging Hard Work Throughout The Year

Thank your teacher for their dedication during the school year. Mention specific things they did that helped you. 

Maybe they stayed late to explain a tough topic. Or perhaps they made boring subjects fun with games.

Try listing a few ways the teacher went above and beyond. This shows you paid attention and truly value their efforts.

You might write: “Your hard work this year didn’t go unnoticed. Thanks for always being there to help.”

Recognizing The Impact Of Great Teachers

Great teachers do much more than simply teach facts…they shape lives. If you want to send the most thoughtful Christmas card, share how your teacher inspired you. 

Did they boost your confidence? Help you discover a new interest?

Tell them about a lesson or moment that stuck with you. Maybe write how their teaching style made learning fun. 

Sharing these impacts shows how much you appreciate their unique gifts as an educator.

Personalizing Your Message

Adding a personal touch to your Christmas card messages can make them extra special. A heartfelt holiday message shows you care and appreciate your teacher’s hard work.

Sharing Memorable Moments or Accomplishments

Think about fun class moments or big achievements you’ve experienced this year. Maybe you aced a tough test or gave a great presentation.

Your teacher would love to hear about it!

You could write:

“Remember when we did that cool science experiment? It made me love learning about chemistry!”

“Thanks to your help, I finally understand fractions. It felt amazing to get an A on that test!”

Sharing your memories creates a special connection with your teacher. It shows you value their lessons and guidance.

Mentioning Personal Growth and Learning

And don’t forget to tell your teacher how they’ve helped you grow as a person!

Have you become more confident? Learned to love a subject you used to dislike? Let them know!

You might say:

“Your encouragement helped me speak up more in class. I’m not as shy anymore!”

“I used to hate reading, but now it’s my favorite subject thanks to you!”

This feedback means the world to teachers. It shows them that their hard work makes a difference not just on students’ grades, but in their lives.

Sharing these impactful moments can make your teacher feel special and valued.

Wishing Well For The Festive Season

Sending warm wishes to your teacher can brighten their Christmas season and spread holiday cheer.

Conveying Holiday Cheer For Christmas and New Year

Include Christmas greetings that set a joyful tone. You might write, “Wishing you a very merry Christmas” or “Happy holidays to a wonderful teacher.” 

You can add a personal touch by mentioning something you know about them or their plans, such as, “Safe travels as you visit family” or “I hope you have fun on the slopes!”

Including Family In Your Christmas Wishes

Remember that teachers have lives outside of school too! Be sure to include their loved ones in your holiday greeting.

You could write:

“I hope you and your family have a magical Christmas time.”

“Enjoy your well-deserved Christmas break with your loved ones.”

If you know your teacher has children, you might mention them: “May Santa bring lots of smiles and a wonderful holiday season to your little ones.”

For teachers spending the Christmas holiday alone, send extra warmth: “Thinking of you this Christmas season and hoping it’s filled with peace and joy.”

Writing The Perfect Closing

Be sure to end your classic Christmas card message with warmth and cheer. A thoughtful closing expresses your appreciation and spreads the joy of Christmas.

Offering Best Wishes For The Coming Year

As you wrap up your card, look ahead to the new year. Wish your teacher success and happiness in the months to come.

You might write:

“Wishing you a happy new year filled with joy and achievement.”

“May the coming year bring you new opportunities and rewarding moments.”

“Here’s to another year of inspiring young minds. All the best in 2026!”

These best wishes show you care about your teacher’s future. They also end the card on an uplifting note.

Ending On A Joyful Note

Finish with a heartfelt holiday message to leave your teacher with a smile.

Try phrases like:

“Have a magical Christmas break!”

“Enjoy a well-deserved rest and a joyful holiday season.”

“Merry Christmas and happy holidays to the best teacher!”

And remember to sign your name clearly! Your teacher will appreciate knowing exactly who sent such warm wishes.

Creative Ideas Beyond Text

Adding visual elements to your teacher’s card not only makes it more personal and memorable; it can turn average cards into adorable holiday cards. Here are some fun ways to make your Christmas spirit shine beyond just words.

Incorporating Drawings and Artwork

Hand-drawn elements can make your card extra special.

Try sketching a festive scene like a Christmas tree, snowman, or candy canes. You could also draw your teacher’s favorite subject – maybe a beaker for science or a book for English – with a Christmas time touch, like holly leaves or snowflakes.

Don’t worry if you’re not an artist. Simple stick figures or doodles work great too!

For a unique touch, use colorful markers or glitter pens. Your teacher will love seeing your creative side shine through.

Adding A Personal Touch With Photos

Photos offer a great way to personalize your card for a great teacher.

Include a class photo if you have one. Or snap a picture of yourself holding up a “Merry Christmas” sign, or you and your classmates dressed in holiday outfits.

Digital cards make adding photos easy. They often allow you to create a collage of fun class moments from the year. 

For an extra thoughtful gesture, include a picture of yourself using a skill your teacher taught you. Maybe it’s you reading a book they recommended or doing a science experiment.

Final Touches And Proofreading

Before sealing your teacher’s Christmas card, take a moment to review your message. 

Read it out loud to catch any errors or awkward phrasing. Check for spelling mistakes, especially in your teacher’s name.

And don’t forget to sign your name clearly!

Lastly, put your card in a clean envelope and write your teacher’s name neatly on the front. If you’re including a gift, make sure it’s securely attached to the card to avoid separation.

Your thoughtfulness is sure to brighten your teacher’s day!

The Presentation Of Your Card

The way you present your teacher’s Christmas card can make it extra special. A thoughtfully prepared card shows you care about the details. 

Let’s look at a few ways to make your card stand out!

Envelopes, Stickers, and Decorations

Choose a festive envelope to match the holiday spirit! Red or green envelopes work well. 

Add Christmas tree or candy canes stickers to add Christmas cheer, or consider using holiday-themed washi tape along the edges. This adds a pop of color and fun.

And glitter pens can make their name sparkle!

Don’t forget the inside of the card. A sprinkle of confetti when it’s opened can be a nice surprise (depending on your teacher’s personality and preferences).

However you choose to decorate your teachers Christmas card, you’ll just want to be careful not to overdo it. You want the focus to be on your message.

Hand-Delivery Versus Mailing

Handing your card to your teacher personally can be meaningful. It gives you a chance to wish them happy holidays face-to-face and an opportunity to include a small treat like a few candy canes.

If you’re mailing the card, make sure to send it early since the Christmas season is known to slow down mail delivery.

When mailing holiday cards, consider protecting any decorations you’ve added with a padded envelope. Just remember to use enough postage if your card is extra thick or heavy.

Best Christmas Gifts for Teachers

Want to pair your thoughtful Christmas card with thoughtful gifts?

Here are some of the best Christmas gifts for teachers in 2025, based on expert recommendations and teacher feedback from sources like Good Housekeeping, Wirecutter, CNN Underscored, and We Are Teachers:

🎁 Personalized & Thoughtful Gifts

1. Custom Name Tote Bag – Perfect for carrying books, papers, and supplies.
2. Personalized Stationery or Notepads – Teachers love cute, practical supplies.
3. Customized Ornaments – A simple, sentimental keepsake for the holidays.
4. Personalized Tumblers or Water Bottles – Durable and useful all year long.

☕ Practical Everyday Gifts

1. Gift Cards – Always a hit! Amazon, Target, Starbucks, or local restaurants are top picks.
2. Classroom Supplies Basket – Pens, markers, sticky notes, and sanitizer—they’ll appreciate the restock.
3. Desk Organizer or Planner – Helps them stay organized in style.
4. Reusable Coffee Mug or Travel Cup – Teachers love their caffeine!

🌿 Relaxation & Self-Care Gifts

1. Spa Gift Set or Bath Bombs – Encourage them to unwind after a busy semester.
2. Aromatherapy Candles or Diffusers – Calming scents for home or classroom.
3. Cozy Blanket or Throw – A warm and comforting treat.
4. Subscription Box – Options like coffee, tea, snacks, or self-care boxes are thoughtful and fun.

🍪 Homemade & Heartfelt Options

1. Handwritten Note from Students – Simple but deeply meaningful.
2. Homemade Cookies or Treats – Add a cute label or festive packaging.
3. Photo Collage or Memory Book – A sentimental keepsake from the class.

💡 Unique & Fun Ideas

1. Mini Desk Plant or Succulent – Adds a touch of life to their workspace.
2. Inspirational Quote Calendar – A daily reminder of positivity.
3. Bookstore Gift Card – Perfect for teachers who love to read.

With all of that said, the greatest gift to give a great teacher is the one they actually want.

Pay attention to any “about mes” or “favorites lists” your school might have collected from teachers, since these are your best bet for gift ideas! They’re how our family learned one of our daughters’ teachers knitted and loved craft store gift cards, and that another teacher was diabetic and wouldn’t be able to enjoy the cookie recipe we had planned on making!

Being Mindful Of Cultural Sensitivities

But of course, with all of this talk about Christmas wishes on holiday cards, it’s important to be respectful of teachers who might hold different beliefs and traditions. Think about who you’re writing to and what they celebrate.

Considering Non-Christian Teachers

You might have teachers who don’t celebrate Christmas. Some may follow other religions, while others might have no religious beliefs at all. 

When writing holiday cards to them, it’s best to use inclusive language. Instead of “Merry Christmas,” try “Happy Holidays” or “Season’s Greetings.”

Think about the images on the card too! Avoid holiday cards with only Christmas symbols, looking instead for cards with winter scenes or general festive designs.

If you know your teacher celebrates a specific holiday, you can mention it. But if you’re not sure, stick to your warmest wishes for a broader holiday season.

Respecting Diverse Holiday Traditions

Many people celebrate different holidays during this festive season. Some teachers might observe Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, or other cultural celebrations.

If you know which holiday your teacher celebrates, you can include a specific greeting. For example, “Happy Hanukkah” or “Joyous Kwanzaa.”

When you’re not sure, or if your religious beliefs prevent you from wishing them a happy Hanukkah or Kwanzaa, focus on general good wishes. You could write about hoping they have a restful winter break or a happy new year.

Remember, the most important part is showing your appreciation. A simple “Thank you for being a great teacher” works for everyone, no matter what they celebrate.

And there you have it – the answer to any and every question you might have about what to write in a teachers Christmas card.

No matter what you write your special teacher, the fact that you’re researching what to write in a teachers Christmas card tells me that you’re approaching it in a meaningful way.

And with that level of intention with a personal message? Your teacher is sure to feel your love, appreciation, and joyous Christmas spirit!

You’ve got this!

P.S. Ready to break up with holiday stress? Download our free holiday organization planner to help you manage your to-do list, events, gifts, meals, and more! Get yours HERE.

Disclosure: While all opinions are our own, we are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program and other affiliate advertising programs, designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites, at no additional cost to you.

The post What to Write in a Teacher’s Christmas Card in 2026 appeared first on Deb Preston.

But there’s one activity that’s cheap, takes up very little space, can be played alone or with others, and yes, was the source of trash-talking, yelling, and sometimes impromptu wrestling matches for my own family growing up. If you guessed dart board games…you might have grown up in the 90s, too!

Dart board games offer a sincerely fun, often overlooked family pastime! They encourage spending quality time together, are impervious to bad weather days (if you have a basement or garage wall), and can be played for years if you know the right dart board games (and variations of those games) to play.

Basics of Dartboard Games

Before you start passing out darts (aka tiny weapons) to your kids like Oprah, you’ll want them to understand the board components and fundamental rules.

Components of a Standard Dartboard

The standard dartboard is divided into 20 numbered segments. Each segment has different point values based on where your dart lands.

Key areas include:

• Double Ring: The narrow outer ring that doubles the segment score
• Triple Ring: The narrow inner ring that triples the segment score
• Bullseye: The center of the board with two parts:
  • Outer bull (green/blue): Worth 25 points
  • Inner bull (red): Worth 50 points

The numbers on a standard dartboard aren’t arranged in numerical order. They’re placed to penalize inaccuracy, with high-value numbers typically placed next to low-value ones.

The board diameter is typically 18 inches (45.7 cm), with a playing surface of 13.5 inches (34.3 cm).

Scoring Basics

As mentioned above, the standard dartboard has 20 numbered segments arranged in a circle.

Each segment has three scoring areas: singles (the largest area), doubles (the narrow outer ring), and triples (the narrow inner ring). The very center of the board has two special zones – the inner bull’s eye (or bullseye) worth 50 points, and the outer bull worth 25 points.

When your dart lands in a single segment, you score the number shown.

Hit a double, and you get twice that number. Land in a triple, and you score three times the segment score value.

For example, hitting the triple 20 gives you 60 points – the highest point score possible with a single dart!

If your dart bounces off or falls from the board, it counts as a miss and scores zero. The first player to throw is usually decided by each dart player throwing one dart at the bullseye, with the closest dart starting.

Popular Dartboard Games

While you can always play a standard game of darts, dartboards offer a surprisingly wide variety of games for players of all skill levels.

Classic ’01 Games

The ’01 family of games are the most popular darts formats played in both professional and friendly competitions worldwide. In these games, you start with 501 (or 301 or 701) points and subtract your score after each three-dart turn.

You must finish by hitting a double or the bullseye. This is called “doubling out.”

The standard game 501 is what you’ll see in professional tournaments.

A quicker version is 301, which follows the same rules but starts with a lower score (similar to H-O-R-S-E versus P-I-G basketball games). Some variations require you to “double in” (start scoring only after hitting a double) as well as double out.

Scoring in ’01 Games:

• Singles: Face value
• Doubles: 2× face value
• Triples: 3× face value
• Bullseye: 50 points
• Outer bull: 25 points

Cricket

Cricket is a strategic target game focused on numbers 15-20 and the bullseye. The aim of the game is to “close” each number by hitting it three times.

Here’s how you play:

1. Objective: The main goal is to “close” the numbers 15 through 20 and the bullseye by hitting each of these targets three times. Once a number is closed, you can score points by hitting it again unless your opponent has also closed that number.
2. Setup: Players take turns throwing three darts each. To determine who goes first, players throw one dart each; the player whose dart is closest to the bullseye starts the game.
3. Gameplay:
   • Players aim to hit the numbers 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, and the bullseye.
   • Each hit is counted as a “mark.” A single hit counts as one mark, a double counts as two marks, and a triple counts as three marks.
   • Once a player accumulates three marks on a number, that number is closed for them.
   • If a player hits a number after it is closed and their opponent has not yet closed it, they score points equal to the value of that number.
4. Winning: The game ends when an individual player or team closes all the numbers and has the highest score. If both players or teams have closed all the numbers, the one with the higher total score wins. If the scores are tied, the first player or team to close all numbers is the winner of the game.

Quick Cricket

Quick Cricket (or “Bar Darts”) is a faster-paced variation of the traditional cricket dart game, designed to be completed more quickly.

To make the game quicker, variations can include:

• Reducing the number of targets (e.g., only using 17, 18, 19, 20, and the bullseye).
• Reducing the number of hits needed to close a number (e.g., two hits instead of three).

Cut-Throat Cricket

Cut-throat Cricket adds a twist – you can score points against opponents who haven’t closed numbers yet. This makes it a good game for more defensive and strategic play.

Here’s how you play:

1. Objective: The goal is to have the lowest total score by the end of the game. Players still aim to close numbers 15 through 20 and the bullseye but instead of scoring points for themselves, they give points to their opponents.
2. Setup: Players take turns throwing three darts each. To decide who starts, players can throw one dart each at the bullseye, with the closest dart determining the starting player.
3. Gameplay:
   • Players take turns aiming at the numbers 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, and the bullseye.
   • Similar to American Cricket, each hit counts as a “mark.” A single hit counts as one mark, a double as two marks, and a triple as three marks.
   • Once a dart player accumulates three marks on a number, that number is closed for them.
   • If a player hits a number that is already closed for them but not for their opponents, the points from that hit are given to the opponents. For example, if a player hits a triple 20 and their 20s are closed but their opponents’ 20s are not, the opponents receive 60 points (20 points per hit).
4. Winning: The game ends when an individual player or team closes all the numbers and has the fewest points. If all numbers are closed, the player or team with the lowest score wins.

Baseball

Prefer red-blooded American sports? Easy peasy! Swap Cricket for Baseball!

1. Setup: This game is played over nine innings, similar to a baseball game. Each inning corresponds to a specific number on the dartboard, starting with 1 for the first inning, 2 for the second inning, and so on up to 9.
2. Turns: Players take turns throwing three darts per inning. Each player aims for the number that corresponds to the current inning. For example, in the first inning, players aim for the number 1 section of the dartboard.
3. Scoring:
   • Hitting the single area of the inning’s number scores 1 run.
   • Hitting the double ring scores 2 runs.
   • Hitting the triple ring scores 3 runs.
   • The bullseye and other numbers do not count.
4. Progression: After all players have thrown their darts for the inning, their number of points are tallied, and the game moves to the next inning.
5. Winning: The player with the highest score total after nine innings is the winner of the game.

This game combines precision and strategy, making it a fun and competitive way to enjoy darts.

Around the World

Around the World (also called “Around the Clock”) is a good game for beginners and great for practicing accuracy. The aim of the game is simple: hit every number on the board in numerical order.

Throwing just three darts at a time, you start at 1 and work your way up to 20, sometimes including the bullseye as the final target. You can only move to the next number after successfully hitting your current target.

Some fun variations include:

• Strict progression: You must hit exactly the number you’re on.
• Loose progression: Any hit counts, but you only advance after hitting your target number.
• Shanghai: Try to hit a single, double, and triple of each number as you go.

For an extra challenge, try setting a time limit or competing against friends to see who can complete the circuit fastest!

Killer

Then there are those of us who are a little darker. We don’t just want to beat our family members at darts, we want to take them out. (Just kidding!)

To play Killer on a standard dartboard, follow these steps:

1. Choosing Numbers: Each player throws a dart with their non-dominant hand to determine their number. This number will be their target for the game.
2. Becoming a Killer: Taking three-dart turns, players need to hit the double of their own number three times. Once they achieve this, they become a “Killer”.
3. Eliminating Opponents: As a Killer, the player aims to hit the doubles of other players’ numbers to eliminate them. Each hit reduces the opponent’s lives until they’ve been hit three times and are out of the game.
4. Winning the Game: The last player remaining, who has not been eliminated, is the winner of the game.

This game requires strategic play and precision, making it a fun and competitive dart game.

Adapting Games for Skill Levels

One challenge I’ve personally faced with family and friends is playing across a wide variety of skill levels. This can happen with different ages of siblings, kids and parents, or even a group of friends playing together.

If one dart player feels the game is impossible, while another feels it’s too easy, neither will truly enjoy themselves.

Luckily, most popular darts games can be easily modified to accommodate players of all skill levels, making them perfect for friendly competitions among family and friends. These adaptations ensure everyone has fun regardless of their throwing accuracy.

Beginners’ Modifications

When playing with newcomers to darts, consider starting with larger targets. Instead of aiming for specific numbers, beginners can aim for sections of the board (like quadrants) to build confidence.

You can also implement point handicaps where less experienced players start with bonus points. For example, in 501, beginners might start at 401 instead.

Cricket games are great for mixed skill groups when you add “spot points” – giving newer players a few marks on numbers before the game starts.

You can also consider these additional adjustments to make games more inclusive:

• Allow beginners extra throws per turn.
• Count the entire triple section as a hit instead of holding beginners to specific triple numbers.
• Use the “large number rule,” where hitting anywhere in a number’s section counts.

Challenges for Advanced Players

But don’t forget your more seasoned players! Tackling a challenge is what makes friendly competitions fun, and it’s no challenge at all for seasoned players if their opponents are struggling just to hit the board.

For those with more advanced darts skills, adding restrictions will create more engaging challenges. You might require closing numbers in sequence or hitting doubles to open scoring.

Try the “non-dominant hand rule” where your better players must throw with their weaker hand for some or all throws. This instantly levels the playing field!

Players with higher skill levels can also accept “call shot” requirements, where they must announce their target before throwing. If they hit something else, it doesn’t count.

A few more advanced modifications include:

• Bull-heavy scoring: Require experienced players to finish on the bullseye.
• Precision rounds: Skilled players must hit specific segments to score.
• Challenge combos: Create required sequences like “hit a triple, then a double, then a single.”

These adaptations will keep the game challenging for everyone and make your darts nights more fun for players of all skill levels!

Host Your Own Dart Tournament

Ready to spread your love of dart board games? Hosting a dart tournament can be loads of fun!

With proper planning and clear rules, you can create an enjoyable dart tournament for players of all skill levels, whether family, friends, neighbors, or coworkers.

Organizing Your Event

First, decide when and where to hold your dart tournament.

Your space (aka your very own games arena!) needs enough room for a dart board, throwing area, and your guests. Consider having players sign up in advance to know how many will attend.

Even with just one standard dartboard, you can run a successful dart tournament!

Create a schedule that gives each match enough time. Don’t rush players, but be sure to keep things moving.

Prepare these essentials:

• Dartboard(s) with good lighting
• Scorekeeping materials
• Extra sets of darts for those who need them
• Snacks and drinks for the ultimate game night

Send reminders to players the day before with important details. This will help ensure everyone arrives on time and knows what to expect.

Tournament Rules and Structure

Choose a tournament format that works for your group size.

For smaller groups (under 16 players), a single elimination bracket works well. Larger groups might require round-robin or group stages first.

Clearly explain the games you’ll play:

• 301/501: Players count down from starting score
• Cricket: Aim for numbers 15-20 and the bullseye
• Round the Clock: Hit numbers in sequence

If you have the time and space, offer a short practice game to allow players to get a feel for the space and the rules.

Set match lengths like “best of 3” or “best of 5” games. Make sure everyone understands scoring rules before you begin.

Create a simple chart to track progress and display it where everyone can see and follow along. Consider using a darts schedule maker to organize matches more efficiently.

Keep notes on what works well so you can improve the next time you host.

Understanding Dartboards

So…are you ready to set up your own dartboard?!

Dartboards come in different types, each with unique features to suit a variety of playing styles and preferences. Several key components can affect gameplay, even on a simple standard dartboard, so you’ll want to be aware of your options.

Types of Dartboards

The most popular type is the bristle dartboard, which is made from compressed sisal fibers.

A bristle dartboard is self-healing, allowing dart holes to close up after the darts are removed. They (and their steel tip darts) are the standard choice for professional players and serious dart enthusiasts.

Electronic dartboards offer automatic scoring and multiple game modes.

They’re designed for use with soft tip darts and are perfect if you’re a beginner or casual player. The sopt tip darts register hits electronically, eliminating the need for manual scoring.

Magnetic dartboards are safer for children (and walls!), making them a popular choice for parents. They use lightweight magnetic darts that stick to the board rather than penetrate it.

Paper dartboards are inexpensive options but wear out quickly and aren’t ideal for regular play.

Dartboard Setup and Maintenance

You’ll want to hang your dartboard with the bullseye 5 feet 8 inches (1.73 meters) from the floor. The throwing line (oche) should be 7 feet 9.25 inches (2.37 meters) from the face of the board.

To extend your dartboard’s life, rotate it regularly.

Most boards have a removable number ring. Turn it periodically to distribute wear evenly, as some numbers get hit more often than others.

Keep your dartboard away from excessive moisture, which can cause the fibers to swell. Don’t clean it with water or cleaning products.

Proper dart tips help minimize damage—steel tips for bristle boards and soft tip darts for electronic boards. When your darts bounce out frequently, it might be time to replace your board.

So…which dart board games will you try first?

Have any family favorites I forgot to mention? Be sure to share them in the comments!

Enjoy!

Frequently Asked Questions

What are some fun dart games suitable for adult gatherings?

For adult gatherings, several fun dart board games can keep everyone entertained.

“Around the Clock” is perfect for parties. Players take turns trying to hit numbers 1 through 20 in numerical order. The first player to complete the sequence wins!

“Killer” adds strategy and suspense. Each player claims a number as their “life” and tries to eliminate others by hitting their numbers. This game creates playful rivalries and lots of laughs.

“Cricket” is also a good game for groups. Teams compete to “close” numbers 15-20 and the bullseye while scoring points. It balances darts skills and strategy perfectly for adult gatherings.

Which dart board games are perfect for a matchup between two players?

“301” or “501” are classic two-player games. You start with 301 or 501 points and race to zero by subtracting your throws. The twist? You must finish with a double or bullseye!

“Baseball” offers a simpler alternative. Players take turns throwing at numbers 1-9 (like innings in baseball). Each hit on the current inning number counts as a run.

“Round the World” creates a fun head-to-head challenge. Players race to hit each number on the board in sequence. This game tests accuracy without complex scoring, making it one of the most casual games.

Can you suggest some fun dart games that are kid-friendly?

“Balloon Pop” is perfect for children. Attach balloons to a soft dart board and let kids try to pop them. The bright colors and satisfying pops keep young ones engaged.

“Odd or Even” simplifies gameplay for kids. Players aim for either odd or even numbers. Points accumulate based on successful hits on their assigned number type.

What rules and strategies are involved in the dart game called ‘Cricket’?

In Cricket, players aim to “close” numbers 15-20 and the bullseye. You need three hits on each number to close it. Only closed numbers earn points when hit.

Strategic players often target their opponents’ open high-value numbers first. This allows you to rack up points before your opponent can close those numbers.

Defensive play matters too. If your opponent is scoring on a particular number, prioritize closing it quickly.

Balance between offense (scoring points) and defense (closing numbers) is key to mastery.

Are there any engaging dart board games available to play online?

Many mobile apps offer virtual dart experiences. These games use touch or motion controls to simulate throwing darts. Some even include multiplayer options to compete with friends remotely.

Online dart simulators provide realistic physics and authentic board designs. You can practice your technique or learn new games without a physical setup.

Video game consoles often feature dart mini-games within sports collections. These games sometimes include motion controls for a more immersive experience.

What are the easiest dart board games for beginners to learn and play?

“Straight Scoring” couldn’t be simpler. Just add up the points where your darts land. Whoever holds the highest number of points after a set number of rounds wins. This helps beginners understand the board layout.

“Count Up” is another beginner-friendly option. Start at zero and add points with each throw. First player to reach a target score (like 300) wins. This builds confidence as your score continuously grows.

American-style darts use a wooden board with softer darts. These are often easier for beginners since they stick better and cause less damage when missing the board.

P.S. Ready to escape survival mode? Start living life on YOUR terms! The Take Charge Collection of 15 free resources will help you to simplify, organize, and take charge of your life! Get yours HERE.

Disclosure: While all opinions are our own, we are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program and other affiliate advertising programs, designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites, at no additional cost to you.

The post 10 Dart Board Games to Play With Family & Friends appeared first on Deb Preston.

Over talking can sometimes look like just that – excessive talking. But it can also manifest as:

• Failure to recognize social cues
• Lack of active listening
• Short attention span
• Regularly interrupting the flow of conversation
• Demanding the spotlight in social situations
• Developing a reputation as a chronic interrupter
• Regularly insisting on taking control of the conversation
• Having a hard time adjusting to the expectations of different social settings
• Displaying a general lack of social skills

Compulsive talkers may have lots of relevant and interesting things to say! But their approach to communication, whether with a friend, family member, coworker, or stranger, can undermine their very best efforts to connect with others…and no one wants that!

So let’s talk about how to stop over talking and kick this bad habit to the curb once and for all!

Understanding Over Talking

Over talking can hurt your relationships and unintentionally upset people around you. It’s a tougher bad habit to break because it’s likely been your communication style your entire life!

The first step is to learn how to spot over talking and determine what’s causing your excessive talking in particular.

Identifying the Habit

You might be an over talker if you tend to dominate conversations. That could mean constantly dictating the conversation topic, interrupting the flow of conversation, or relating everything someone says back to your own similar experience.

Do your friends and family members seem bored or try to change the subject when you speak? That’s a big clue you shouldn’t ignore!

Other signs include:

• Interrupting others before they finish
• Talking non-stop without pauses
• Giving too many details about simple topics
• Feeling anxious when you’re not speaking

Pay attention to how much you talk in social settings. If you’re always the one telling stories, you might be over talking.

Common Causes and Psychology

But why are some people excessive talkers in the first place?

Compulsive talkers can develop this bad habit in response to lots of different causes. Some common reasons include:

• Social anxiety or nervousness
• Loneliness
• Insecurity
• Need for attention or approval
• Poor listening skills
• Excitement about a topic

Your upbringing plays a role too. If your family valued constant chatter, you might have learned to fill silences.

Excessive talking can also be a sign of ADHD or other mental health issues. Be sure to talk with your doctor if you think that might be the case for you!

Understanding why you over talk is the first step to changing the habit.

The Impact of Over Talking

If you’re reading this post, you’ve probably already experienced how over talking can strain relationships and make social interaction feel awkward. It can also leave the recipients of excessive talking feeling unheard and frustrated.

Let’s talk about why it’s so stinking important to turn this communication style around!

Effect on Social Situations

Excessive talking can make you seem self-centered in social settings, even if you’re not! When you dominate conversations, it leaves little room for others to share their thoughts.

This can lead to:

• People avoiding you at gatherings
• Fewer invitations to social events
• A reputation as a chronic interrupter or someone who doesn’t listen

Your friends may feel overwhelmed by your constant chatter. They might start to tune you out or make excuses to end conversations early.

In work settings, over talking can harm your professional brand.

Colleagues may see you as unfocused, deaf to social cues, or generally lacking in social skills. This could affect your chances for promotions or collaborating on team projects.

Consequences in Personal Relationships

Over talking can also put a strain on your closest bonds.

Your family members might feel:

• Unheard or ignored
• Frustrated by interruptions
• Unable to express their own needs

Your partner may feel like they can’t get a word in edgewise.

This can lead to:

• Reduced intimacy
• More arguments
• A sense of emotional distance

Even your children might learn to tune you excessive talking! This can hurt your ability to guide and connect with them.

The Power of Self-Assessment

So what can you do about all of this? The first step is to take an honest self-assessment.

Self-assessment requires that you make a conscious effort to become more aware of your talking habits. It allows you to spot areas where you might talk too much and make a plan for change.

Recognizing Social Cues

Pay attention to how others react the next time you speak to them. Do they look interested or bored? 

Watch for signs like yawning, checking their phone, or looking away. These may mean you’re talking too much.

Take note if people try to change the subject or end the chat. This should be a signal to you that they want a turn to talk. 

Listen for pauses where others might want to join in.

Try to pick up on body language too!

Crossed arms or stepping back might mean the person needs space. If you see these signs, wrap up your thoughts and ask them a question.

Monitoring Your Talk Time

Use your phone or watch to keep track of how long you speak in conversations. Set a goal to limit your talk time to a few minutes at most.

Count how many times you speak in meetings or group chats.

Aim to speak less than others if you tend to dominate the flow of conversation. Give yourself a “talk budget” and stick to it.

Ask a friend to give you a signal if you’re talking too much. This feedback can be a great way to improve an excessive talking habit.

Strategic Conversation Techniques

But you don’t just want to curb your bad habit, right?

You want to become a thoughtful and respected conversationalist! You want to improve your relationships!

Talking less and listening more can make your conversations more meaningful and effective. These techniques will help you manage dialogue and choose topics that matter.

Balancing the Flow of Conversation

To keep conversations balanced, try the “talk-listen-pause” method.

You talk briefly, then listen to the other person, and pause to reflect. This gives everyone a chance to share ideas.

Ask open-ended questions to encourage others to speak.

“What do you think about…?” works well. It shows you care about their thoughts.

Pay attention to body language. If someone looks bored or distracted, it might be time to change the subject or wrap up your train of thought.

Choosing Your Conversation Topic Wisely

Pick topics that interest both you and the other person. This makes the chat more fun for everyone.

Before a meeting or party, think of a few good subjects to discuss. Current events, shared hobbies, or recent experiences often work well.

Avoid touchy subjects like politics or personal issues unless you know the other person well. 

If you’re having a hard time finding common ground, ask about their interests or recent activities.

And remember, it’s okay to have quiet moments. Don’t feel pressured to fill every silence with constant chatter.

Embracing Active Listening

While it’s important to make room for others to speak, it’s equally important to listen to them in a way that makes them feel genuinely heard. Otherwise, you’ll seem as if you’re just waiting for them to finish so you can speak again.

The answer? Active listening!

Active listening helps you talk less and understand more. It builds stronger connections and improves your social skills.

Essential Listening Skills

Good listeners focus on the speaker. Put away your phone and other distractions and make eye contact. 

Don’t interrupt or run through what you’ll say next in your head. Instead, pay attention to the speaker’s words and body language.

Try these techniques:

• Nod and use small verbal cues like “mm-hmm” to show you’re listening.
• Ask questions to clarify points you don’t understand.
• Repeat key ideas in your own words to check your understanding.

And practice being quiet!

Count to three before speaking to avoid jumping in too quickly. This gives others the time and space to share their thoughts fully.

The Role of Empathy

Empathy is key to active listening.

It means trying to understand the other person’s feelings and point of view. Practicing empathy means putting yourself in someone else’s shoes as they speak.

Empathy not your strong suit? Don’t worry, it can be developed over time!

To build empathy, practice these skills during your conversations:

• Listen without judging.
• Notice the speaker’s tone and emotions.
• Think about why they feel the way they do.
• Think about how you might feel in the same situation.

Showing empathy makes others feel heard and valued.

It creates trust and opens up deeper conversations. You’ll learn more about people and form stronger bonds when you develop a reputation as an empathetic friend and listener.

Remember, good listeners don’t just hear words. They connect with the speaker’s message and emotions.

This skill takes practice, but it will greatly improve your communication style and relationships, guaranteed!

Managing Impulsivity

I know what you’re thinking, I really do!

I’m an impulsive person. Every thought in my head goes straight to my lips. It’s just who I am!

While you may not be able to control compulsive thoughts, you can learn how to delay those thoughts from reaching your lips, or even keep them to yourself altogether!

Controlling impulsive speech takes practice and patience. Two of the most helpful social skills you can learn are how to pause before speaking and how to build up your ability to wait.

Delaying Responses

Take a breath before you talk. This small pause will give you time to think.

Try counting to five in your head before answering questions.

When you feel the urge to interrupt, bite your tongue. No, seriously, physically bite it! Or put your hand over your mouth as a reminder to stay quiet.

Make a rule for yourself to wait until the other person finishes talking. Once they’ve finished, count to three before you start speaking.

Afraid you’ll lose your thought if you don’t blurt it out right. this. second?!

Use a notepad or the notes app on your phone to jot down your thought for later. This will help you remember what you want to say without interrupting others or blurting it out at an inappropriate time.

Building Patience

Set a timer when you’re talking.

Give yourself 2 minutes, then stop and let others speak. Gradually increase the time (when the conversation topic and/or flow of conversation deems it appropriate!) as you improve.

Practicing active listening can help to build your patience too!

Focus on what others are saying instead of planning your response. Ask questions to show you’re paying attention and make the speaker feel valued.

Take deep breaths and notice your surroundings. This can help to calm your mind and slow your response time.

Role-play conversations with a friend or your partner. (I am positive your partner is aware of your excessive talking habit and would be happy to help!)

Get feedback on when you’re talking too much. And reward yourself when you keep things brief!

And remember…excessive taking is usually a symptom of a deeper issue at hand. Try mindfulness exercises to slow your thoughts, both during conversations and in your everyday life.

Digital Communication and Over Talking

Digital platforms have changed how we talk to each other.

While over talkers will feel the biggest strain from in-person social settings, it’s also easy to share too much online and/or send texts or messages that are too long. Learning good conversational habits can help you communicate better digitally, too!

Social Media Etiquette

Social media can make it miiiiighty tempting to overshare! In fact, the entire system was designed to get you to share as often as possible and reward you with views and likes when you do!

But…think before you post. Ask yourself if what you’re sharing is needed or interesting to others.

Keep your posts short and sweet, and use bullet points for longer thoughts. This makes your content easier to read.

Don’t flood people’s feeds. Limit the number of times you post each day, or you might find yourself quietly unfollowed by friends and family members who are tired of you taking up 90% of their feed and don’t care what you ate for breakfast.

Remember, too, that quality beats quantity on social media!

When commenting, be brief and stay on-topic.

Avoid writing long replies that take over the conversation. If you have a lot to say, consider sending a private message instead.

Email and Messaging Boundaries

Set clear limits for your digital messages. Keep emails short and to the point.

Try the “five sentence rule” for emails. If you need more than five sentences to convey your message, consider a quick call or meeting instead.

On text and chat apps, break up long thoughts into shorter messages. This allows others to jump in and keeps the chat flowing.

Pause between thoughts to allow others the time and space they need to respond to your message and share their own thoughts. This demonstrates respect and helps everyone be heard.

And use emojis and GIFs wisely. They can add fun to the conversation, but can also be distracting or even downright annoying depending on your audience.

Improving Through Practice

Remember to show yourself some grace! Rome wasn’t built in a day and people can’t break decades worth of a habit in a week or even a month.

But if you’re ready to roll right this second, practicing these communication habits can help you speed up the process! You can try role-playing and get feedback from others to improve your skills.

Role-Playing Exercises

Role-playing is a great way to work on talking less. You can ask a friend or family member to help you practice conversations. 

Try these exercises:

• Set a timer for 2 minutes. See if you can listen without interrupting for that time.
• Practice giving short answers to questions. Aim for 30 seconds or less.
• Take turns telling a story. When it’s your turn to listen, focus on not jumping in.

You can also practice brevity on your own. 

Every night before you go to bed, try summarizing your day in just three sentences. This helps you focus on the key points without extra details or rabbit trails.

Learning from Feedback

Getting feedback from others, especially those who know you well and/or interact with you often, can be incredibly helpful. Ask friends or family to let you know when you’re talking too much. 

After conversations, ask people:

• Did I give you enough time to speak?
• Was I clear and to the point?
• Did I interrupt or talk over you?

Use their answers to set goals for yourself. Maybe you want to ask more questions or pause more often.

Write down your goals and review them before social events.

Enlisting Support from Others

Getting help from people you trust can make a big difference in changing your talking habits. Support from loved ones and experts can provide both guidance and accountability.

Leaning on Family and Friends in Social Settings

When you’re in social situations, ask a family member or close friend to give you gentle reminders when you start talking too much. Pick a secret signal they can use, such as touching their ear, to allow them to help without embarrassing you in front of others.

Seeking Professional Help

If you believe your over-talking might be linked to mental health issues like anxiety or ADHD, a therapist can help! They can teach you coping skills and communication techniques to help you reach both your communication and relationship goals.

A speech therapist might be helpful too. They can work with you on pacing and turn-taking in conversations.

You might also consider joining a support group for people with similar challenges. You can learn from others’ experiences and get tips on what works and what doesn’t.

Remember, asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness. It shows you’re committed to improving yourself and your relationships.

Although your communication style might feel written in stone, it’s actually very possible to learn how to stop over talking!

What have you found works well? Be sure to share your tips in the comments!

P.S. Ready to live with purpose, on purpose? The Take Charge Collection of 15 free resources will help you to simplify, organize, and take charge of your life! Get yours HERE.

Disclosure: While all opinions are our own, we are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program and other affiliate advertising programs, designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites, at no additional cost to you.

The post How to Stop Over Talking and Interrupting Others appeared first on Deb Preston.

What I failed to plan for was how my husband would fit into the big day.

He had cheered me on as I increased my mileage and attended pre-race events. But neither of us had ever ran or even attended a race before, so we had no idea how to support someone running a marathon.

He dropped me off as close as he could to the starting line, leaving me to stretch and line up my playlist on my iPod Touch. (Hello, 2009!)

I wasn’t sure where my husband went, possibly to park somewhere near the finish line so he could be there when I crossed it?! I didn’t know what he should do and so…never told him.

But as the race started, I quickly realized just how many friends and family members stayed at the race. They lined the starting line with cheers, balloons, and homemade posters. What a great idea! I thought to myself.

But that wasn’t all!

Those same supporters kept showing up throughout the race…the same people, the same matching shirts or wacky outfits, the same funny posters keeping me laughing every 2-3 miles. Walking, riding scooters, or pushing strollers, they were cutting across back streets, following the course map to another mile marker, then another.

I figured my husband wouldn’t know to follow the course but assumed he’d be waiting at the finish line. I imagined how I would tear up when our eyes met, me just a few feet away from accomplishing a goal I had dreamed of for years.

But (insert trombone slide) it turned out, my husband also had no idea how race day usually went down.

He assumed the race was just for runners, parked at a nearby Walmart, and watched my progress on the marathon’s tracking app. When it looked like I was nearly done, he drove back to the race and texted me from the car to tell me he couldn’t find parking, but would keep circling the street until I could find him and jump in.

Crossing the finish line was still incredible; I felt relieved and elated and exhausted all at once. I still cried happy tears.

But I felt a teensy bit bummed that my husband wasn’t there to witness my big moment. And my husband felt super duper bummed to learn how races actually worked and realize he could have done more to make it extra special.

Lucky for us, we learned and did things a lot differently the next big race. And lucky for you, I’m writing down exactly how to support someone running a marathon so that whether you’re a runner or a supporter, you’re able to rock the big day!

Understanding the Marathon Experience

Training for and running a marathon (or any big race) is a huge challenge! It takes lots of hard work but is incredibly rewarding.

What Marathon Running Entails

Marathon running requires months of training. Most training schedules will have you running at least five days a week, increasing your mileage week over week until you run 20 miles your final week of marathon training or 10 miles your final week of half marathon training.

During this time, you’ll want to eat plenty of healthy foods to fuel your runs. You’ll also want to ensure you’re getting the rest days and sleep you need to help your body recover and avoid injuries.

You might also dive into the world of running, learning more about the best running shoes, energy gels, supplements, and fun accessories. Joining other runners, both in person and online, made my training more enjoyable and interesting than it would have been as a solo endeavor.

Key Challenges for a Marathon Runner

But it’s not all fun and games! Running a marathon poses lots of challenges to your body and mind.

Physically, you could encounter:

• Sore muscles and tired legs
• Stress fractures or other injuries
• Recurring blisters
• Chronic fatigue

Mentally, you’ll doubt yourself, beat yourself up over slow progress, and have to fight to get back on the horse after missing a few days of training.

I found marathon training to be a huge metaphor for facing life’s trials and challenges. In fact, I often refer back to the mental scripts I developed during half marathon training to get me through the challenges I face today.

Weather can also pose a threat.

While it’s important to do the majority of your training outside (an outdoor course poses very different challenges than a treadmill or even indoor track), it might be hot, cold, rainy, or snowy. You’ll want to make a plan for those less-than-ideal training days and for any inclement weather on race day.

Time is also a huge factor! Marathon training demands hours every week, especially if you’re a slower runner like I am.

At the start of every week, schedule the days/times you’ll train into your calendar. This will increase the likelihood of completing your training, and help you to balance it with your work and family commitments.

Pre-Race Preparation

I know, I know…you’re here to learn how to support someone running a marathon, not run it yourself, right? But now that you know the challenges your friend will face during training, you can figure out where your support fits into it!

Supporting a marathon runner goes beyond race day cheering! You can play a crucial role in their success by helping with training, nutrition, and gear in the weeks and months leading up to their big day.

Assisting with Training Schedules

You can be a huge help by joining your marathon runner on training runs. Offer to bike, scooter, or run alongside them for part of a long run.

This provides both company and safety, especially on early morning or evening routes. There were many times during my training that a late-night run fit my schedule best but I didn’t feel comfortable running alone in the dark.

Help them stick to their schedule by setting reminders or planning activities around their training. You might even create a shared calendar to track their progress!

You can also provide navigation support by finding new routes. 

Research safe, well-lit paths with water fountains or restrooms along the way. This helps take stress off your runner and lets them focus on their workout.

Navigating Nutrition and Hydration

Proper fueling is crucial to marathon success. 

Help your runner plan and prep meals that support their training. Focus on balanced meals with lean proteins, complex carbs, and plenty of fruits and veggies.

You can also have fun testing different sports drinks and energy gels with them during long runs. Knowing what works best will help to maximize their performance and avoid any bad surprises on race day. (Imagine try to choke down GU for the first time mid-race!)

You’ll also want to remind them to stay hydrated throughout the day, not just during runs. Consider gifting them a new water bottle to show your support and encourage regular sipping!

Supplying the Right Gear

The right gear can make a big difference in both comfort and performance. Offer to join your marathoner when they shop for new running gear. 

You can help them pick out:

• Comfortable, moisture-wicking clothes
• Well-fitting running shoes (and replace those bad boys every 400-500 miles!)
• Anti-chafe products for the long run
• A reliable GPS watch or running app

Consider surprising them with useful items like a foam roller for recovery or a running belt to carry their essentials during training.

Support on the Big Day

Although you can drop your marathon runner off at the starting line and wait in a parking lot for them to finish, staying on race day to cheer them on will make the entire experience more exciting and enjoyable for them!

Cheer Stations and Emotional Support

Set up cheer stations along the course. You might wear a supportive shirt with your runner’s name, a wacky outfit to make them smile, or a bright shirt or hat to help them spot you more easily in the crowd.

Hold up funny signs to make them smile. Or use short, encouraging phrases like “You’ve got this!” or “Looking strong!”

Consider offering their favorite quick snacks or drinks as they jog by (if permitted by the race!). A familiar face can help to boost their spirits during tough moments, especially when they’re coming with snacks to give them a physical boost as well!

Try to station yourself at critical points like at the top of a hill or mile 20, where runners often hit the “wall”. Your presence can give them the push they need to keep going.

And remember to cheer for other runners too! It creates a positive atmosphere that benefits everyone, from supported runners to solo runners, and even other supporters.

Knowing the Course Map and Logistics

Study the course map before race day, especially if you’re unfamiliar with the area. Unlike my husband and me, plan where you’ll meet after the big race and how you’ll get there.

Research road closures and parking options ahead of time. In some cases, public transport or an Uber might be your best bet to avoid traffic.

Note the locations of water stations and medical tents. Your marathon runner might need this info during or after the race.

Stay with them to help calm pre-race jitters until they have to move to the starting line, then stand at the start line to cheer for them. Plan to be at the finish line too, ready to celebrate their achievement!

Support Runners and Guide Assistance

If your runner has a vision impairment, you can take your support to the next level by being their guide runner!

Stay connected with a tether and provide verbal cues about the course. Describe upcoming turns, hills, or obstacles, and keep them informed about their pace and time.

For runners without disabilities, some races allow you to be a support runner for part of the course, joining them for a few miles to help boost their morale. Just be sure to check race rules about support runners, as some marathons have specific guidelines or restrictions.

Spectator Strategy

With a little planning and effort, you can boost your runner’s spirits and help them reach the finish line!

Effective Encouragement Points

Make a plan to see your runner at 3-4 points, with an early spot, a middle spot, and somewhere near the end. This gives them something to look forward to. 

Pick spots along the course where your runner will need extra support. Uphill sections are some of the toughest to tackle, making cheering there extra effective.

Some areas are packed with supporters, while others are less crowded or even bare. Your cheers will mean more for your runner and others when fewer people are around.

The 18-20 mile mark is often the hardest stretch for marathoners, so ensure that at least one of your cheer stations is there to help lift their spirits. 

Bring noisemakers or wear bright colors to help your runners spot you easily. Cowbells, pom-poms, or silly hats work great too, as long as they don’t scare or startle other runners.

Creating Persuasive Signs

Funny signs can give runners a much-needed laugh. I loved turning the bend of my last half marathon to see the girl with the “Worst parade ever!” sign show up again…or the guy whose sign said, “Your legs hurt because you’re kicking so much a**!”

Need some hilarious sign ideas? Check out this post!

You can also personalize signs for your runner, using their name or inside jokes to make them feel special in the crowd.

Whatever you write on your sign, be sure to keep words big and bold, using dark markers on light backgrounds for the best visibility. Runners should be able to read your sign quickly as they pass. 

Utilizing Social Media Updates

You can also post updates about your runner on social media. This allows far-away friends and family to cheer too!

Share photos of your runner at different points (with their permission, of course) to build excitement and support. You can even live-stream parts of the race to offer a real-time view for those who can’t be there. 

Use the race’s official hashtag to connect with other spectators and be sure to tag the runner in your posts. They’ll appreciate seeing the support after they finish.

Post-Marathon Recovery and Celebration

After crossing the finish line, your runner needs both care and celebration. Supporting them during this time ensures a smooth recovery and helps to create lasting memories of their achievement.

Organizing After-Race Care

Pack a bag with warm, dry clothes for them to change into after the race. Bring an electrolyte drink and their favorite carb-rich snacks to help replenish their energy. 

It’s always a welcome surprise to show up with balloons or flowers but plan on carrying them for your runner if you do, since they’ll likely be focused on drinking, eating, and stretching.

Consider booking a massage or spa treatment to ease sore muscles. Many masseuses and sports therapists set up tents just past the finish line for this exact reason.

Remember to allow for extra time after the race. Your runner may need to rest, stretch, or use medical services before leaving.

Celebrating Together

Plan a fun celebration to honor your runner’s hard work.

Book a nice dinner at their favorite restaurant or throw a small party with friends and family. You could also surprise them with a relaxing day trip or weekend getaway to help them unwind.

Create a photo album or scrapbook of their training journey and race day. Or consider gifting them some marathon memorabilia like a framed race bib or finisher’s medal display.

And don’t forget to share in their excitement!

Ask about their race experience and listen to their stories. Your genuine interest and support mean a lot to your marathoner.

Now you know how to support someone running a marathon! Whether you take one of these tips or all of them, it will mean the world to your loved one to know you support and believe in them!

Go you!

P.S. Inspired to become a runner yourself? Download this FREE handy running schedule that starts you jogging just two minutes at a time! Get yours HERE!

Disclosure: While all opinions are our own, we are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program and other affiliate advertising programs, designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites, at no additional cost to you.

The post How to Support Someone Running a Marathon | 25 Ways! appeared first on Deb Preston.

I’ve felt as if my efforts to be a source of support were not just unfruitful but overlooked and even resented by the very person I was trying to help. Even though I knew I was offering vital social support and playing an important role in their life, how to help someone with depression was an absolute mystery to me.

Although I had battled depression myself, the further I got from it, the fuzzier my memories became. But even if I had perfect memory, every depression experience is different.

Understanding Depression

Depression is a serious mental illness that can affect every aspect of a person’s life. Knowing how to recognize its symptoms and identify its causes is the best way to help you better support someone dealing with depression.

Recognizing the Symptoms of Depression

Depression manifests in various ways.

It can include feelings of deep sadness and hopelessness in the depressed person. People with major depressive disorder may experience a loss of interest in activities they once enjoyed.

Physical symptoms of depression are common too. These can include changes in sleep patterns, appetite, and energy levels.

Some might find it hard to concentrate, while others may feel irritable or restless. In severe cases, thoughts of self-harm or suicide can occur.

Common symptoms of depression include:

• Persistent sadness
• Loss of interest in hobbies
• Changes in appetite
• Sleep disturbances
• Loss of energy
• Poor concentration
• Irritability
• Suicidal thoughts

Recognizing these symptoms of depression early is important for getting help.

Identifying the Causes of Depression

The causes of depression are varied. 

Major depression can stem from genetic factors. If a family member has had clinical depression, you might be more at risk.

Brain chemistry also plays a role. Imbalances in certain neurotransmitters can lead to clinical depression.

Life events can trigger depression too. Traumatic experiences, such as the loss of a family member or friend or other major life events, can be significant triggers.

Chronic stress and anxiety can also lead to depression. And sometimes, medical conditions or medications can contribute to major depressive disorder.

Key causes of depression include:

• Genetics from a family member
• Brain chemistry
• Traumatic life events
• Chronic stress
• Other mental illness diagnoses
• Medical conditions
• Medications

Understanding the causes of clinical depression can help in finding the right treatment and support.

Support Strategies

Helping someone with depression involves both effective communication and providing emotional support. These methods help build trust and show the person you care.

Communication Techniques

Open and clear communication is important. Start by letting the depressed person know you are there for them.

Ask open-ended questions like, “How are you feeling today?” instead of questions that can be answered with a simple “yes” or “no.” This encourages a deeper conversation.

Listening is key. When they talk, the best thing you can do is to listen without interrupting or making judgments.

Avoid giving unsolicited advice and focus on what they’re expressing. Sometimes, just knowing someone is willing to listen can be very comforting.

Validate their feelings. Let them know it’s okay to feel the way they do.

Use phrases like “It sounds like you’re going through a tough time.” This shows empathy and understanding.

Providing Emotional Support

The most important thing you can do for a depressed person is to be present and consistent. Regularly check in on them through text, calls, or visits.

Sometimes, just sitting quietly with them can be reassuring. Small actions like these can show that you care and are there for them.

Encourage them to engage in positive activities. Simple things like taking a walk or cooking together can help to boost their mood.

Offer hope and remind them that depression is treatable. This can be very encouraging.

Suggest they stick with their treatment plan and offer to help with appointments if needed.

Also, practice patience. Recovery can be a slow process, but your continued support plays an important role.

Professional Help and Medical Support

Getting the right professional help and medical support is key when helping someone with depression. Knowing when to seek help, exploring different therapy options, and understanding medications can make a big difference.

When to Seek Professional Help

The most important thing you can do for your loved one is to help them recognize when they need professional help, and to support them in securing that help.

If your loved one talks about feeling hopeless, shows drastic changes in behavior, or is experiencing thoughts of suicide, it’s time to step in. Other signs include withdrawal from social activities, significant changes in sleep or appetite, and difficulties concentrating.

Encourage them to start with their primary health care provider, who can rule out any medical conditions that might be causing their symptoms. If symptoms persist or worsen, seeing a mental health service provider, like a psychologist or psychiatrist, is important.

Exploring Therapy Options

There are various therapy options to consider.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is a common choice that helps change negative thought patterns. Interpersonal Therapy (IPT) focuses on improving relationships and communication skills.

For some, support groups and group therapy offer a sense of community and social support.

Therapy can be done in person or through online platforms, individually or as part of support groups, providing flexibility and accessibility. The best thing you can do is to encourage your loved one to find a mental health service provider with whom they feel comfortable, as trust is essential for effective treatment.

Understanding Medications

Medications can be an important part of treating clinical depression.

Antidepressants, like SSRIs (Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors) and SNRIs (Serotonin and Norepinephrine Reuptake Inhibitors), are often prescribed. They help balance chemicals in the brain that affect the mood of a depressed person.

It’s essential to understand and remind your loved one that medications can take several weeks to show effects. There might be side effects, but these usually lessen over time.

Make sure to encourage your loved one to discuss any concerns with the prescribing doctor and never stop medications abruptly. The best thing they can do to help ensure an optimal outcome is to closely follow their doctor’s guidance.

Lifestyle Changes and Daily Activities Management

Making thoughtful lifestyle changes and assisting with daily activities can greatly help someone with depression. Your support in these areas can improve their wellbeing and make daily tasks feel more manageable.

Encouraging Lifestyle Changes

Small lifestyle changes play an important part in mental health.

Encourage your family member to maintain a balanced diet and regular exercise routine. Foods rich in omega-3 fatty acids, like fish, and nutrients like folate, found in leafy greens, can be particularly beneficial.

Suggest they keep a consistent sleep schedule.

This helps to regulate mood and energy levels. It’s also helpful to limit caffeine and alcohol, which can both give your family member a hard time falling asleep each night and exacerbate major depression.

Another useful tip is to promote mindfulness practices such as meditation or yoga. These can help manage stress and improve mood over time.

Engaging in hobbies or activities they enjoy can provide a sense of accomplishment and joy as they shift to focus on the good things in their life.

Sunlight exposure also plays a role, so encourage regular outdoor activities or even just opening the blinds to let natural light in.

While a depressed person might overlook simple lifestyle changes as an answer to their depression symptoms, the National Institute of Mental Health has found that lifestyles changes have the potential to make a huge impact on the recovery process.

Assisting with Daily Activities

People with depression often have a hard time completing everyday tasks, even on their good days.

On their bad days, offer to help with daily activities like grocery shopping or cooking meals. Simple chores can feel overwhelming when they don’t have much energy.

Encourage them to break tasks into smaller steps. For example, rather than cleaning the entire house, focus on one room at a time.

Support them in setting a daily routine that can persist through both the good days and bad days.

Consistency can make a hard time feel more manageable. Include small, enjoyable activities and other good things, like a short walk or reading a book.

Offer to join them in tasks they find challenging.

Doing laundry, preparing meals, or going for a walk together can provide both practical help and companionship. Your presence can make daily activities less daunting and give them the support they need to get through the bad days.

Crisis and Suicide Prevention

If you think someone is in crisis or having suicidal thoughts, it is crucial to recognize the signs and offer immediate suicide prevention support. Prompt action can save lives and provide much-needed help.

Identifying Crisis Signs

Recognizing early signs of suicidal thoughts is essential. Symptoms may include:

• Extreme mood swings.
• Withdrawal from friends, activities, and other social support.
• Talking about feeling hopeless or having no reason to live.
• Sudden changes in behavior or appearance.
• Giving away prized possessions.
• Increase in substance abuse.

These behaviors indicate that the person may be experiencing not only depression symptoms, but serious mental illness. Understanding these signs of thoughts of suicide can help you know when to act for effective suicide prevention.

Offering Immediate Support

When you identify someone at risk, the most important thing you can do it to provide immediate support. 

Encourage them to reach out to the 988 Suicide Prevention & Crisis Lifeline. They can also text 988 for free, confidential support from trained crisis counselors available 24/7 on the crisis lifeline.

You can also suggest they speak to a mental health service professional or join support groups. 

If the person is a veteran, guide them to the Veterans Crisis Line. They can call 988, then press 1, or text 838255.

Offer your presence and listen without judgment. 

Simple phrases like “I’m here for you,” or “You’re not alone” can make a difference. Remind them that seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness.

If you’re reading this post and other resources to learn how to help someone with depression, you’re an incredible person! Take hope! Because a recent study found that supportive loved ones helped to cure depression for 50% of study participants.

That’s not only an important role you’re playing but a very powerful source of support!

I know how frustrating it is but I also know that it doesn’t last forever.

So hang in there, friend! We’re here for you!

P.S. Looking for more info on depression? Then check out the rest of our series:

You Could Be Living With Depression and Not Even Know It

Inside a Depressed Person’s Mind | The Best Description You’ll Ever Read

What Does God Say About Depression? 8 Biblical Truths Crucial to Recovery

Don’t Shut Out the World | Why Your Friends May Be the Cure to Depression

Prefer to receive our 5-day series on depression via email? We’ll send you one post a day! Grab it here!

*DebPreston.com is not intended to be a substitute for professional advice, diagnosis, medical treatment, or therapy. Always seek the advice of your health care provider or qualified mental health provider with any questions you may have regarding any mental health symptoms or medical conditions. Never disregard professional psychological or medical advice nor delay in seeking professional advice or treatment because of something you have read on DebPreston.com.

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