Are Stress-Free Holidays a Thing of the Past?
Are stress-free holidays a thing of the past? A myth embedded in crackling Bing Crosby records?
With endless holiday events and responsibilities, increased travel, record-level spending, and the unrealistic expectations now imposed on us by social media, stress-free holidays can feel like an impossibility.
But they’re not! With a few mindset shifts and tweaks to your plans, you and your family are completely capable of enjoying stress-free holidays! Let’s take a look at how.
Shift Your Mindset For Stress Free Holidays
First and foremost, stay focused on what the holiday is actually about.
Holidays are about celebrating and spending time with family. All of the gifts and decorations and themed parties are beautiful, but they’re just the icing on an already gorgeous cake.
If we get so caught up in the details that we’re not even able to enjoy the holidays with our family and friends, then we’ve missed the whole point.
Picture the holiday you want to have.
Before other people dictate the holiday you’ll have, decide for yourself what you want the holidays to look like. Share that picture with your family and ask them to share the holidays they’d like to have.
When you have a clear picture of what you want (and what you don’t), you can hold each tradition and event up to that picture to see if and how it fits. Without that picture, you’ll likely RSVP to things that not only don’t matter to you, but might even add to your stress levels.
Let go of perfection.
Not every meal, dessert, decoration, or celebration has to be Pinterest-worthy.
Sure, photographic celebrations will wow your guests and rack up Instagram likes, but is the time and effort required to make them worth those few seconds of wow? Maybe not.
Determine in your heart that good enough is, well…good enough for most events.
Stay flexible.
Holiday plans will, inevitably, change, start later, or run longer than expected. Try to differentiate which plans have to happen at a certain date and time and which can shift, then take advantage of those more flexible plans!
Last year, I planned to drive through a holiday lights display, then go home to bake cookies. When the lights display line was an hour longer than I had anticipated, it pushed my cookie plans way past my daughter’s bedtime.
Instead of cramming in cookie baking at a time I knew she’d be cranky, I pushed it to the following day. Some flexes are annoying, but totally doable.
Focus on what you can control.
The fact is that the only things you can control are your own actions and your thoughts. So make the best plans you can but decide right now that the results of those plans, or the reactions of others, are outside of your control and will not negatively affect your thoughts or attitude.
Remember that short-term stress is normal.
While you can use these tips to create a mostly stress-free holiday, you are bound to experience at least small pockets of stress. Remember that while long-term stress has detrimental side effects, short-term stress is completely normal. In fact, your body is wired to handle and even benefit from occasional stress.
So don’t beat yourself up over a stressful experience. Chalk it up to life and choose to move forward with a positive mindset.
Utilize breathing exercises.
I know they may seem silly, but breathing exercises send a signal to your brain and body that it’s time to reset. WebMD offers a fantastic intro to breathing techniques for stress relief here.
Stay in the present.
When we’re planning a million activities at once, it’s tempting to always stay one step ahead in our minds. But this practice of living in the future can lead to our missing out on what’s happening right in front of us.
So make a rule for yourself that you won’t plan any future activities while in the middle of another activity.
Regularly practice gratitude.
One of the best ways I’ve found to reduce stress is to practice gratitude! Start and end each day by listing three things you feel grateful for, making it a point to avoid repeats. You’ll be amazed at the resulting levels of peace and positivity you feel throughout your day!
Share your feelings.
If you’re feeling left out, missing a loved one, or just generally stressed, share your feelings with others!
No one can help you if they’re not aware there’s even an issue. In fact, they might even be feeling the same way!
Holding onto negative emotions will only make them more powerful. By acknowledging and working through your feelings, you can reduce stress levels and enjoy overall better mental health.
Make a Plan For Stress Free Holidays
Spread out your plans.
Write all of your holiday plans in your calendar, then take a look at the spread.
Are they all bunched together over a few days? What can you move to spread things out a bit and make each day moderately busy instead of anxiety-inducing busy?
By thinking through your plan ahead of time, you can help avoid a pile-up of responsibilities.
Make a budget.
Nothing is quite as stressful as watching your bank account drain. So before the holiday spending begins, write down how much you want to spend in total and divide it between categories like events, food, gifts, etc.
Having a plan in place will help you stick to your guns and avoid piling financial stress on top of everything else.
Communicate your plans.
Your guests won’t know they should bring a side dish or be ready to eat at a certain time if you don’t tell them!
Sure, maybe common courtesy would inform them, but the stress will ultimately fall back on you when they don’t follow through on your expectations. So speak up!
Bookmark this article.
You’ll likely take note of several ideas over the course of reading this article, but will almost immediately forget the majority of your favorite tips. That’s why it’s a smart idea to bookmark this and other stress-related articles so that you can come back to them later for a quick reference.
Reimagine Traditions For Stress Free Holidays
Keep traditions simple and low-stress.
Yes, wearing a gorgeous ball gown to see The Nutcracker sounds like the epitome of Christmas traditions. But you’d better believe my six-year-old would suck the joy out of the ballet ASAP.
Ensuring traditions are enjoyed by all means you won’t have the stress of fighting with your kids to get them dressed and out the door.
Keep traditions affordable.
Similarly, keeping traditions affordable means less financial stress hanging over your head. Traditions are less about the events themselves and more about spending time together.
(Want to cut costs by opting for a secret Santa exchange instead of buying a gift for each individual person? Check out this guide to organizing a memorable secret Santa.)
(Plus, find nine simple and affordable Christmas traditions to start this year here!)
Put a new spin on an old tradition.
How’s the saying go? There’s more than one way to skin a cat? This saying applies to holiday traditions as well!
You may want to see holiday lights, but you could achieve that by driving through one of a hundred different displays or even driving through your own neighborhood.
Want a picture with Santa? He’s available at Christmas events, the mall, private bookings, or heck, even Bass Pro Shop!
If your existing tradition is causing you stress, consider new ways of accomplishing it.
Let go of guilt when it comes to upholding family traditions.
My mom started a tradition a few years ago of eating at Cracker Barrel on or around Christmas Eve every year. And that would be fantastic if I weren’t already trying to jam in Christmas with five different families and my birthday within a week.
I already see my mom to eat a meal and open gifts that day, so I don’t feel bad when we don’t follow her to Cracker Barrel too. Just because something is a tradition doesn’t mean you have to partake.
Remember that just because you started a tradition doesn’t mean you have to keep it.
The first two years of my daughter’s life we let her “pick” one ornament each year to add to the tree. We imagined her picking an ornament that held a memory of the year.
Instead, she picked a stuffed weiner dog the first year and fought veeeeery hard to keep a tiny, plastic Corona bottle the next. We nixed that tradition in favor of others, but still hang the weiner dog on our tree every year.
Just Say No For Stress Free Holidays
Just say no.
There are just too many holiday events, like parties, concerts, and fairs, and responsibilities, like shopping and baking, to fit into the few weeks where they all fall.
To be honest, there are even events that I could technically jam into my schedule, but that would likely tip the scale from enjoyable day to stressed-out-checking-events-off-our-list day. So I thank the host for their invitation, but explain that we already have plans.
Decide what’s most important to you and what you love and enjoy most about the holidays. Then focus your time and energy there, and politely decline the rest.
Rethink what’s necessary.
Certain holiday traditions, like baking cookies for neighbors, sending Christmas cards, and visiting Santa at the mall, might not be worth the effort for you. Or heck, maybe your family doesn’t even enjoy some traditions!
My daughter hates taking a picture with Santa (and the Easter bunny. Le sigh.). She finds the idea of sitting on a stranger’s lap uncomfortable and has declared a human-sized bunny who doesn’t speak to be “really creepy.”
While I initially lamented over missing those iconic pictures in our photo album, I finally had to ask myself why I wanted them in the first place. It turned out the answer was that it was what others told me I should have.
Don’t be afraid to rethink the things you’ve always done and cut any from your to-do list that cause you more stress than joy.
Downsize what’s necessary.
Don’t want to cut a tradition completely? Try downsizing!
So rather than sending 70 Christmas cards, decide on the top 10-15 that are most important to you and drop the rest.
Ask for help.
I know, I know, you want to be an incredible host. You want to get everything right and perfect! But it’s this exact reason that mom fatigue is alive and real!
Remember it’s totally acceptable to ask your spouse to greet guests and take their coats and to delegate your sister to offering drinks or helping to clear the table. In fact, many introverts (me! me!) are more comfortable helping with small jobs than lingering around the living room making small talk.
Your older children can help with baking and wrapping gifts. Your husband can split shopping with you.
Sure, maybe you’re better at doing those things, but sometimes…? You just need the job done.
Prioritize Your Health For Stress Free Holidays
Maintain healthy habits.
Of course, you may not be able to visit the gym on Christmas Day. But try to maintain as many of your established healthy habits as possible, like drinking those two liters of water a day or including a side salad with your lunch.
Those habits are helping to fuel your energy and keep you feeling happy and healthy! You definitely don’t want to miss out on those benefits at the time you need them most.
Plus, completely scrapping your healthy habits will make them that much harder to kickstart again after the holidays are over.
Get outside.
There are so many benefits to being outside! It’s been scientifically proven to not only lower stress levels but also lessen symptoms of anxiety and depression, improve seasonal affective disorder, boost energy, and more!
Exercise.
Exercise is another surefire way to lower stress levels and boost your energy! Plus, devoting regular time to your own self-care will help to balance out a packed calendar.
Avoid overindulgence.
It’s the holidays; enjoy the heavy meals and sweet treats you want! But…try not to overindulge.
Overeating (especially of sugar) usually makes you feel sluggish and uncomfortable, not the feeling you want when there’s so much to do and enjoy. That’s why I try to make food indulgences social!
By enjoying those cookies with a family member, I’m creating holiday memories, engaging in conversation, and slowing down to savor each bite and better recognize when I’m full.
Prioritize sleep.
Your brain’s emotional centers become overactive when you don’t get enough sleep. This leads to increased stress and anxiety levels!
So while it may be tempting to stay up late binge-watching holiday movies, your body and stress levels will thank you for hitting the hay earlier.
Stay hydrated.
Hydration not only keeps our bodies healthy, but also works to keep our brains functioning at maximum capacity and improve your overall mood!
Enjoy pampering or other things that make you happy.
At a time when you’re running full speed, regular breaks for pampering will offer a welcome break and sense of balance. It could mean grabbing a quick manicure or massage or just taking ten minutes to drive around your neighborhood listening to music. Do whatever brings you joy!
Schedule and protect breaks.
It’s easy to feel like breaks for relaxation are negotiable, but they’re not! Jot them into your calendar and treat them like any other holiday event.
Spend time with your loved ones.
This one doesn’t sound like a tip for protecting your personal health, does it? But it is!
Studies have shown that spending too much time in isolation can lead to loneliness, depression, and anxiety. So be sure to prioritize spending time with others, whether it’s your family, friends, or community.
(Want some fun, family-friendly conversation starters? Check out these would you rather questions!)
Take a break from the news and social media.
Let’s face it, watching the news and scrolling social media brings us more stress than joy these days.
So rather than staying up-to-date with what’s going on in politics or in the home of that person you haven’t seen since high school, focus on enjoying what’s happening right in front of you without distractions.
Minimize screen time.
Your brain is wired to feel most fulfilled and at peace when you feel like a valued member of meaningful relationships. So rather than retreating to your tv or phone after that big holiday meal, engage with those around you!
Need a little help getting the conversation going? Our family has enjoyed conversation starter games as well as (my daughter’s favorite) “would you rather” books!
Set Boundaries For Stress Free Holidays
Set boundaries.
I understand the loving pressures applied by parents, grandparents, and other family members to visit over the holidays. (Heck, my husband and I have seven parents between us!)
But the fact is that you can’t please everyone. You are one human with just a few short weekends in December.
So if it’s important to you to make Christmas morning a special time at home with your immediate family, then reserve that morning! No apologies necessary.
If possible, set boundaries when your children are small to avoid settling into unrealistic expectations for the long haul.
Don’t get caught up in a day on the calendar.
On the same note, remember that Christmas isn’t contained to a date on the calendar. We’ve celebrated “Christmas” a week late, or two weeks early, in order to make it work for everyone’s schedule and fit in multiple celebrations.
Make a plan for family conflict.
Do you want to avoid talking about politics over dinner? Let your guests know ahead of time that you want to enjoy their presence and catch up on their lives over the holidays, not stress over the state of the world.
Have a pushy, rude family member? Decide beforehand what you’ll do when their antics start, whether it’s to shift the topic, leave the room, or leave the party altogether.
By determining your best course of action ahead of time, you won’t have to stress about it in the heat of the moment.
Don’t give in to the pressure to overspend.
There have been years we’ve been able to surprise family members with expensive electronics or weekend trips for Christmas. (Now those were fun to give!)
Other years, those same family members have received thoughtful cards and a small bag of their favorite candy. It all depends on our finances from year to year.
And guess what? They love us and are thankful for the thought behind every gift, big or small.
There’s nothing quite like a quickly dwindling bank account to bring on the stress, so be careful that you don’t spend what you don’t have. A hand-written card or homemade gift can speak volumes.
Respect others’ boundaries.
Remember that your boundaries aren’t the only ones in play. Just as you expect others to respect your boundaries, be sure to respect theirs when they say they’ll have to pass on those dinner plans or won’t be exchanging gifts this year.
Your hurt or stressed feelings won’t change their plans. So choose to let it go.
Work Smarter, Not Harder For Stress Free Holidays
Start early!
If you don’t start things early, chances are good that ev-er-y-thing is going to hit at once, and that is not the proper recipe for stress free holidays! So write out your holiday to-do list and get started on it.
Jot down important dates on the calendar, make a list of everyone that needs a gift, and start watching for killer deals. Jumpstart coordination with different sides of the family ahead of time so you’ll know who’s visiting when.
The more you can knock out before Christmas week, the more you’ll be able to relax and actually enjoy that time.
Need a little help getting a solid jumpstart? Be sure to download our free holiday organization planner!
Let your kids in on your plans.
You usually give your kids a heads up on your plans for the day, right? You might even let them know that you’ll be leaving for an activity in 30 minutes.
Why not do the same for them during holiday traveling to help lower everyone’s anxiety levels?
Author Jacqueline Miller shares, “Whenever I travel with my anxious child, I create a little notebook so he knows travel-time details and where we’re sleeping each night. It helps so much, especially during hectic holidays!”
Double your recipes.
Every time you make a big meal for your family, consider doubling the recipe and freezing half. Your frozen leftovers will come in clutch on your busiest days or help feed future guests.
Take advantage of pre-made options.
I cannot even tell you how many times grocery store fruit and veggie trays, potato salads, and desserts have cut my holiday stress in half!
Unless you have a tried-and-true recipe that you can make in your sleep, researching, testing, and successfully transporting new recipes to holiday parties can quickly add to your stress levels. This is why I always volunteer to bring the items I know I can pick up directly from the grocery store.
Ship gifts straight from the source.
I used to purchase my brother’s four kids gifts on Amazon and have them all shipped to my house. Then I would wrap them and ship them to his house in one box, three states away.
But then I got smarter! I starting paying an extra dollar or two for wrapping when I ordered gifts and just had them shipped directly to my brother’s house.
Nothing is more frustrating than visiting the post office during the holidays. Skip that step altogether if possible.
(I use Shippo.com to ship books for my business, but you can only use an account there to ship your personal items! As long as you have a scale to weigh packages and a printer to print the shipping label, you can skip post office lines altogether. Be sure to check them out here!)
Consider giving gift cards or cash.
I used to insist on buying gifts for my other brother’s children. After all, I was a savvy shopper who could find them a $50 gift for $15!
But after several less-than-enthusiastic gift unwrappings, I realized a good deal isn’t actually a good deal if the recipient doesn’t like the gift.
Since then, I’ve settled for giving them gift cards to Walmart or even cash. Sure, it may only be for $15, but it’s $15 guaranteed to excite and satisfy them. And man, if it isn’t easier picking up gift cards than watching sales for months!
Stress-free holidays are within your grasp! Shift your holiday mindset, just say no, set boundaries, and work smarter, not harder.
What tricks have you found for stress-free holidays? Be sure to share in the comments below!
P.S. Did you miss the link to download your free holiday organization planner? Nab it here!
FAQ
What is holiday stress?
We all experience stress in our day-to-day lives, but holiday stress comes…you guessed it…around the holidays. It is often much higher than our normal stress and is caused by the drastic increase in events, activities, responsibilities, and expectations that come with the holiday season.
Do the holidays stress you out?
The holidays bring additional stress to most people, due to both the increased expectations mentioned above and our emotional ties to the holidays.
We miss our loved ones that have passed away or live far away. We set unreasonable expectations for ourselves and our families of always being happy and agreeable during holiday events, then feel frustration and anger when things don’t go as planned.
We also compare our holiday experiences to the filtered, carefully-curated experiences our peers share on social media and often feel as if we don’t measure up. All of these factors lead to increased stress and anxiety during the holiday season.
How can I be stress-free on holidays?
While we may never be able to avoid stress completely, especially during the holidays, we can utilize some or all of the tips above to set ourselves up for a much less stressful holiday experience.
How do you plan a stress free Christmas?
Planning plays a huge part in avoiding holiday stress. Check out the “Make a Plan” section above for tips on planning your schedule, budget, and more!
What holiday season is stress-free?
Most people experience some form of stress during every holiday, simply because the nature of holidays usually results in planned gatherings and activities. However, you can greatly reduce stress levels by utilizing some or all of the holiday tips and tricks above!
What is National Stress-Free Family Holidays Month?
December has been declared “National Stress-Free Family Holidays Month” in an effort to encourage families to slow down and focus on the reason for the season. If December seems too lofty a goal, aim for a stress-free November as you navigate Thanksgiving and Christmas preparations.
How can I care for my mental health during the holidays?
Your mental health during the holidays will either make or break you! Check out the “Shift Your Mindset For Stress Free Holidays” section above for tips on both setting your intentions before the holidays and staying grounded throughout them.
What are 5 tips to avoid holiday stress?
Let’s zoom out to some bigger picture tips!
- Shift your mindset.
- Make a plan.
- Reimagine traditions.
- Just say no and set boundaries.
- Prioritize your health.
For more specific tips and tricks under each of these big-picture ideas, be sure to scroll up!
Disclosure: While all opinions are our own, we are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program and other affiliate advertising programs, designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites, at no additional cost to you.
