How to Stay Positive When You’re Surrounded by Negativity

Negativity is contagious. Hang around it too long and you’re almost certain to catch it.

But what can you do when the negative person is your spouse? Or parent? Or coworker?

There are certain people in your life with whom you’ll spend loads of time, whether you want to or not. Want to know how to stay positive when surrounded by negative people? It’s really not that complicated.

Be Mindful of Each Day’s Activities

Start every day with positive thinking.

Your first thoughts every morning will set the tone for the rest of your day. That’s why positive people make it a point to start every day with a purposeful, positive attitude!

Daily positive affirmations may sound corny but there’s legitimate science behind this positive thinking exercise!

The idea is that the more you think a specific thought (and especially if you say it out loud), the more likely your brain is to default to that thought in the future. You’re literally rewiring your thought patterns by deepening the neural pathways to those thoughts and mindset.

So start every day with positive affirmations, like, “I experience peace and joy daily, regardless of my circumstances,” or “I’m excellent at finding solutions to every challenge,” or even “I live in the present moment and am confident in my future.”

These positive thoughts will still be echoing through your head when you’re interacting with negative people later in the day.

Start every day with an attitude of gratitude.

Another great way to set yourself up for success is to spend time writing in a gratitude journal every morning. This is the most classic “attitude of gratitude” exercise around!

A gratitude journal is designed to help you focus on the good things happening in your life, rather than dwelling on a negative situation and/or negative emotions. Countless studies have shown that gratitude journal users are more positive people, who are both more content in the present moment and able to maintain a more positive outlook when facing difficult times.

Engage in positive activities every day.

If you only ever go to work, return home, and watch tv, chances are good you’re missing out on some opportunities to fill your cup.

Try turning off your screens for an hour each day, reading a book, taking a walk around the neighborhood, or inviting family and friends over for coffee or even a game night. These activities will help you to keep an open and active mind, and to more powerfully resist negative influences.

Limit Time With Negative People

Don’t log unnecessary time with negative people.

Sure, you can’t help the fact that you have to spend eight hours a day with your coworker who finds fault in everything and everyone. But you can politely decline their invitation to join them for lunch or happy hour.

The less time you spend with negative people, the less time they have to drag you down into their hole of negative emotions.

Surround yourself with positive influences as often as possible.

The more time you spend around negative influences and toxic people, the harder you’ll have to work to nurture positive feelings.

That’s why it’s crucial to proactively seek out and log time with positive people. Positive people will help to counteract the influence of negative people, making it much easier for you to practice more positive thinking.

So be purposeful as you chose with whom you spend your time. Your mental health depends on it!

Limit social media’s effects on your positive attitude.

The bad news is that the impact of negative people doesn’t always end when you physically leave them. Thanks to social media, you can feel the impact of negative comments nearly everywhere you go.

Maintaining a positive attitude while using social media involves being intentional about how you engage with the platforms. Here are some tips to help you foster a more positive outlook while using it:

1. Be Selective with Who You Follow: Curate your feed by following accounts that share your interests, values, and positive energy. Unfollow or mute accounts that consistently post content that makes you feel negative or elevates your stress levels. This can help create a more uplifting social media environment.
2. Limit Your Time: Set boundaries for how long you spend on social media each day to avoid overconsumption, which can lead to negative emotions. Using a timer or app tracker can help you stay within your set limits.
3. Quality Over Quantity: There’s no need to feel pressured to post constantly. Focus on sharing meaningful content that reflects your interests and values, and engage with social media posts of good things that genuinely resonate with you.
4. Engage Positively: Use social media to connect with friends and communities positively. Share, comment, and post content that can have a constructive impact on others.
5. Educate Yourself: Follow accounts that offer educational content or inspire personal growth and are managed by positive people. Learning new and positive things can enhance time spent on social media.
6. Real-life Socialization: Remember to balance your online interactions with face-to-face connections. Strengthening real-life relationships usually provides a more fulfilling social experience.
7. Mindful Consumption: Be aware of the impact of the content you consume. If certain topics or bad news stories make you feel anxious or upset, consider limiting your exposure to them.

By implementing these strategies, you can create a more positive social media experience that contributes to your overall mental health and well-being.

Redirect Negative Conversations

Don’t stoke the fire.

Now, this step requires a little finesse.

Most stories about a negative experience will drag on as long as you continue responding with statements like, “That really is awful,” or “I can’t believe she did that.” Your agreement feeds into the negative experience and encourages additional detail.

However taking the flip side, responding with a “hmm” and then completely changing topics, will likely be perceived as uncaring or even rude.

I’ve found the perfect balance is to acknowledge their statement, then politely and positively shift the conversation. “Ugh, I hate when parents pry! I was sort of bracing myself for that when I visited mine last month, but was pleasantly surprised! We went to the best restaurant…”

Politely shift like this enough and negative people will quickly learn you’re not their best option for a venting session.

Focus on the positives.

Another great way to combat their negative comments is to focus on a positive spin in their story.

If they’re in a fender bender, emphasize that you’re so glad they weren’t hurt. If they’re sick, use that attitude of gratitude you developed earlier to express your thankfulness that they caught a cold, but dodged the flu that’s been going around.

This technique might annoy them, but sends the same message as the last – you’re not the right person for their complaints, gossip, negative thoughts, or otherwise negative comments.

Remember that your positivity can be just as exhausting and influential as their negativity.

I read an interesting verse in the Bible a few months ago. God assigned Ezekiel to deliver a message to, essentially, a bunch of negative people.

And what God told him in Ezekiel 3:8-9 really struck me, “But I’ll make you as hard in your way as they are in theirs. I’ll make your face as hard as rock, harder than granite. Don’t let them intimidate you” (MSG).

I sometimes feel so burdened and intimidated by the words of negative people that I forget my own influence.

Your coworker might be dead set in her negative thoughts and pessimistic outlook. But you, friend? You can be even more dead set in your positive attitude.

You and other positive people might just be wearing her down every day with your constant focus on the bright side.

So set your face like granite, friend! You can influence others as powerfully as anyone!

Counteract Negative Thoughts

Overcompensate for negative thoughts.

I once read about a technique utilized by FBI agents to overcome a negativity bias.

They encounter death and other traumatic events on a near-daily basis, and so learn to come up with five positive thoughts to counter every one negative thought. They allow each positive thought to sit with them for 20 seconds before thinking of and sitting with the next positive thought.

Agents learn to acknowledge “bad” emotions, label them for what they truly are, and then move forward. Because the truth is that the more you engage with negative thoughts, the more power you provide them.

Excuse yourself from toxic positivity.

While it’s important to maintain an optimistic outlook on life, it’s also important to excuse yourself from unrealistic (and unhealthy) expectations.

BetterUp notes that toxic positivity is “the pressure to only display positive feelings, suppressing any negative emotions, feelings, reactions, or experiences. It invalidates human experience and can lead to trauma, isolation, and unhealthy coping mechanisms.”

Being positive while avoiding toxic positivity involves acknowledging both the good things and the challenging aspects of life. Here are ways to maintain a healthy balance:

1. Embrace a Full Range of Emotions: Recognize that it’s normal to experience a spectrum of feelings, including negative emotions. Allow yourself to feel and express these emotions without judgment. Understanding that negative emotions have their place can prevent the harmful effects of toxic positivity.
2. Practice Authenticity: Be genuine with your feelings. It’s okay to share when you’re experiencing difficult times, rather than masking your true emotions with a facade of positivity.
3. Offer Support, Not Platitudes: When others are struggling, avoid dismissive phrases like “Just be positive!” Instead, listen actively and offer support that validates their feelings. This approach fosters genuine connection and understanding.
4. Set Realistic Expectations: Understand that positivity is not about being happy all the time; it’s about approaching life’s more difficult situations with a hopeful outlook while being realistic about outcomes).
5. Practice Self-Compassion and Positive Self-Talk: Be kind to yourself when things don’t go as planned or when you’re feeling down. Positive self-talk helps you bounce back from setbacks more effectively than negative self-talk.
6. Seek Balance: Strive for a balanced perspective that can appreciate the positives without ignoring the negatives. This balance can help you respond to life’s ups and downs with resilience.

By integrating these practices into your life, you can maintain a positive outlook that’s both healthy and grounded in reality. Your mental health will thank you!

How to Stay Positive When Surrounded By Negative Minds

And there you have it – how to stay positive when you’re surrounded by negative people. By being more mindful of each day’s activities and thoughts, limiting time with negative people, and redirecting negative comments and conversations, you can shine bright in the darkest night.

Have any secrets on how to stay positive when surrounded by negative people? Be sure to sound off in the comments!

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