How to Support Someone Running a Marathon | Easy Tips

Seventeen years ago, I decided to finally go for my goal of running a half marathon. I trained for months following Hal Higdon's program, purchased a SPIbelt and a few GU energy gels, and assumed I was good to go!

What I failed to plan for was how my husband would fit into the big day.

He had cheered me on as I increased my mileage and attended pre-race events. But neither of us had ever ran or even attended a race before, so we had no idea how to support someone running a marathon.

He dropped me off as close as he could to the starting line, leaving me to stretch and line up my playlist on my iPod Touch. (Hello, 2009!)

I wasn't sure where my husband went, possibly to park somewhere near the finish line so he could be there when I crossed it?! I didn't know what he should do and so...never told him.

But as the race started, I quickly realized just how many friends and family members stayed at the race. They lined the starting line with cheers, balloons, and homemade posters. What a great idea! I thought to myself.

But that wasn't all!

Those same supporters kept showing up throughout the race...the same people, the same matching shirts or wacky outfits, the same funny posters keeping me laughing every 2-3 miles. Walking, riding scooters, or pushing strollers, they were cutting across back streets, following the course map to another mile marker, then another.

I figured my husband wouldn't know to follow the course but assumed he'd be waiting at the finish line. I imagined how I would tear up when our eyes met, me just a few feet away from accomplishing a goal I had dreamed of for years.

But (insert trombone slide) it turned out, my husband also had no idea how race day usually went down.

He assumed the race was just for runners, parked at a nearby Walmart, and watched my progress on the marathon's tracking app. When it looked like I was nearly done, he drove back to the race and texted me from the car to tell me he couldn't find parking, but would keep circling the street until I could find him and jump in.

Crossing the finish line was still incredible; I felt relieved and elated and exhausted all at once. I still cried happy tears.

But I felt bummed that my husband wasn't there to witness my big moment. And my husband felt super duper bummed to learn how races actually worked and realize he could have done more to make it extra special.

Lucky for us, we learned and did things a lot differently the next big race. And lucky for you, I'm writing down exactly how to support someone running a marathon so that whether you're a runner or a supporter, you're able to rock the big day!

What Should You Do Before Race Day?

You can help not only prep for race day, but also support the journey leading up to it!

Recognize & Make Room For the Journey

First of all, recognize and make room for the hard work they've put in leading up to the race...and its potential side effects. Training for a race is an emotional roller coaster of excitement and anxiety, confidence and self-doubt, motivation and frustration.

Months of early alarms, long runs, and a hundred small injuries will have taken a toll on their body by race day. Sure, they're stronger, but they're also pretty beat up.

Training can also affect their mental health in both directions: it can lift their mood to crazy new heights (Runner's high is very real!), but also bring on taper jitters as the race approaches. They might seem especially quiet or even cranky over the last few weeks of training, and both are completely normal.

Rather than trying to give them a pep talk, try a genuine, "I'm so proud of how hard you trained!" That can make them feel seen without coming across as if you know exactly how they're feeling.

Prep For Race Day

Be sure to ask your runner what kind of race day support they want, because everyone is different.

Some people love a loud crowd of family at mile 20. Others want one quiet hug at the start and a ride home.

A few helpful questions to ask:

• Where do you want me? Agree on two or three cheering spots and one meeting point after the finish.
• What should I carry? Gels? A spare shirt? Lip balm? A certain post-race snack?
• What should I say? Some runners want pace updates. Others (me!) just want to see your face and hear you cheering for them.
• What will you wear? Knowing your runner's shirt color will help you spot them in a pack of thousands.
• What's your goal pace? This will tell you roughly when they'll pass each spot.

Be sure to fit your questions to their experience!

Someone running for the first time will face different nerves than a runner with five half marathons under their belt. An ultra marathon runner may need you as a legitimate crew member, handing off food and socks at aid stations.

The night before and morning of race day, keep your texts and calls short. A long message is one more thing to process when you're trying to pin a bib and psyche yourself up at 5 AM.

How Can You Cheer Them on During the Race?

Cheer with a plan! Small choices can make a big difference when your runner is deep into the race.

Where to Stand

Pick spots past the halfway mark, where support is most needed. Late miles like 18 to 23 are where many runners struggle, so a familiar face there feels huge.

Stand on the side you agreed on so they know where to look. Avoid tight corners and water stations, where runners are dodging cups and each other.

What to Hold

Some people bring pompoms, giant foam fingers, and shirts with their runner's face, but most make posters.

You can write your runner's name and bib number, motivational phrases, or even funny jokes ("This seems like a lot of work for a free banana!" or "Worst parade ever!") on a Dollar Tree posterboard. (This post offers fantastic guidance and ideas for race signs!)

As much as I love and appreciate funny and motivational signs, my all-time favorite sign was the one my 10-year-old made for me last year. It didn't look like any other sign there, and was full of random motivational phrases from her favorite YouTubers, but the fact that she worked so hard on it for me?! Absolutely priceless!

Track Them

Most big races offer a tracking app tied to the bib's timing chip. Use it to time your arrival and to know when to get your sign ready.

What to Say

The right phrase at the right moment can change a runner's outlook for a mile or two! Try yelling something like, "You look strong!" or "Smooth and steady! You've got this!"

Skip "you're almost there" unless the finish is in sight. At mile 20, six miles is not "almost" and can feel more depressing than motivating.

For bonus points, try shouting the names on strangers' bibs while you wait! Words cannot express how much it meant to me when random strangers yelled my name and shook their signs at me last year, especially when I knew I wouldn't see my dad and daughter in the crowd for another several miles.

Big Races Need Extra Planning

All marathons are big events, but for races like the Boston Marathon or London Marathon, you might be surprised at how dense crowds get or how early roads close. Be sure to check transit closures, give yourself buffer time between spots, and accept that two good sightings beat four rushed ones.

What Helps at the Finish Line and Afterward?

Your most helpful job at the finish is getting your runner warm, fed, and resting. Finish line moments are emotional, and a hug an snack are going to top any speech.

Meet at the Set Spot

Finish lines are crowded and phones will die. Pick a landmark away from the chute and stick to it, even if you lose your signal.

Bring a Small Recovery Kit

We're talking:

• Water or a sports drink
• Salty snacks, something with carbs and protein
• Warm layers
• Dry socks
• Comfy shoes or slides

Keep them moving gently for a few minutes before they plop down. The Mayo Clinic Health System describes a three-phase recovery approach that starts with basic steps you can help with right after they cross the line.

Celebrate the effort, whatever the clock says

A missed goal, a walk break, or even a stop at the medical tent still took months of work. Ask "How did it feel?" before "What was your time?"

Help in the days after 

Stairs will be rough for a day or two. Offer to drive, handle dinner, and listen to the full mile-by-mile story. More than once.

Now you know how to support someone running a marathon! Whether you take one of these tips or all of them, it will mean the world to your loved one to know you support and believe in them!

Go you!