Have you ever felt completely inadequate? Not smart enough? Or experienced or talented or fit enough? I’m raising my hand right along with you! Want to know how to have more confidence? It’s way less mysterious or difficult than you might think!
I’ve been researching this topic for days, and have compiled the top tips most commonly shared on over forty posts on how to have more confidence. Without further ado, here’s what I found!
How to Have More Confidence Mentally
- Set small, achievable goals. Sure, you’d love to lose 50 pounds. But if you make 50 pounds your goal, you risk discouragement along the way. Instead, set a goal to lose five pounds. Reaching your five pound goal will boost your confidence, and give you the motivation you need to lose the next five, and the next.
- Swat away negative self-talk like gnats at a barbecue. The longer you spend in inner dialogue with negative thoughts, the more powerful they become. So be on the lookout for any thoughts that tell you you’re not good enough or can’t do something. And the second you recognize those thoughts, swat them out of your mind.
- Think positively. FBI agents are taught to overcome their negativity bias in five steps:
- For every negative thought you have, come up with five positive thoughts.
- Reflect on each positive thought for 20 seconds before moving on to the next positive thought.
- Acknowledge both positive and negative emotions.
- Don’t attempt to suppress negative emotions.
- Label negative emotions for what they are, but do not enter into inner dialogue with those emotions. Move on.
- Use daily positive affirmations. Visualize yourself as you want to be, and speak as if you already were that way. For example, “I am happy with my body, and confident in my own skin,” or “I am competent and successful at my job.” By writing those statements down, and reading them out loud daily, you can actually rewire your brain’s neural pathways to default to those positive, confident thoughts. (Use these quotes for confidence to guide you!)
- Practice gratitude. When you recognize and appreciate every blessing in your life, you’re more confident in your life and in yourself. Need some help feeling more thankful? Check out our post on how to become an optimist (by practicing gratitude).
How to Have More Confidence Physically
- Exercise. Not only does exercising release feel-good endorphins in your body, but it also relieves stress and improves your health, all of which boost confidence! Need some help getting started? Then download our no-equipment home workout for beginners for absolutely free!
- Take care of yourself every day. Shower, brush your hair, dress in something that makes you feel fantastic. We tend to feel how we look, so look confident, like you’re ready to give this day a roundhouse kick to the face!
- Get better sleep. Not only does getting adequate sleep help you to look and feel better, it also gives you more energy, helps you to more effectively moderate your emotions and stress levels, and gives your attitude a positive boost.
- Smile at yourself in the mirror. It’s not crazy, it’s science! The “facial feedback theory” suggests that your facial expressions help your brain to register and intensify certain emotions. So when you flash a happy, confident smile, your brain makes you feel more happy and confident! Bonus: you’ll catch that sticker your three-year-old put in your hair before you walk around displaying it to Target patrons for an hour. Or maybe that’s just me…
How to Have More Confidence By Taking Action
- Increase your competence. Is it a lack of knowledge or skills in a particular area that’s contributing to your lack of confidence? Then beef up your skills! I felt overwhelmed and underqualified my first day at a new job. My coworkers had years of experience, and used terminology that was completely foreign to me. So every time I heard a term I didn’t recognize, I jotted it down. As soon as I returned home my first day, I got to researching, looking up those terms and learning as much about them as I could. Every day as I continued to jot down terms and learn more, I felt more and more competent and confident in my role. It’s hard to feel confident in yourself if you’re not fully equipped to do well at something. So learn what you need to, to do well!
- Make a list of your strengths and talents, and pursue them. Take inventory of every strength and talent you have. Write it down. Now you have a list that you can refer to daily when you need a confidence boost. You can also use this list to identify a talent you can pursue further. Are you gifted at writing? Crafting? Building things? Playing an instrument? Set aside some time every week to hone those skills. Because who doesn’t feel like a boss when they’re crazy talented at something?
- Do one thing that scares you every week. Many of us lack confidence because we’re afraid of failing. But by regularly facing our fears and experiencing success (and even failure), the unknown loses its power over us. Eleanor Roosevelt said to do one thing that scares you every day, but Eleanor hasn’t seen my schedule or the disturbing energy levels of my preschooler. So I aim to find one thing that scares me every week, and go for it!
- Be kind to others. There’s just something about doing something for others that makes you feel good inside. Confident, even. Whether you’re holding a door open, bringing a meal to your sick neighbor, or volunteering at your local food pantry, you’ll feel a boost to your mood.
- Maintain a positive support network. This means spending more time with family and friends that lift you up, and also limiting time with those that drag you down. Feeling loved and supported by others is a terrific confidence booster. Bonus points if you feel comfortable enough to share your struggles with them, and receive their support.
- Stop comparing yourself to others. The fact is that there will always be someone prettier, richer, and more talented than you, just like there will always be someone uglier, poorer, and less talented. When we can recognize that everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses, and that we’re not in competition with one another, we can feel more confident in who we are.
Wrap It Up
You are totally capable of feeling like a boss in every situation! By using a variety of mental, physical, and action-taking tricks, you can build a quiet confidence that lasts. What trick will you try today?
P.S. Ready to escape survival mode? The Take Charge Collection of 15 free resources will help you to simplify, organize, and take charge of your life! Download it here!
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